the steadfast love...

...of the Lord never ceases...
God's mercies are new everyday...
they are new every morning,
new every morning...

I wake up singing this in my head almost every Sunday. It is very comforting.

Today, I pray for your mercy and guidance to lead me through this morning. I am feeling vulnerable...please help that vulnerable place be open to the blessings you share...
and
be present to your people today...
in worship, prayer, presence and song.
amen.

Aric slideshows...

These are slideshows that Aric's friends made...

oh Holy Stranger...

oh Holy Stranger,
You live on the edge of my sight,
the precipice of my heart,
standing surely in the threshold between my inner and outer world.

You do not beckon loudly.
You announce your invitation to listen
with echoes of patient silence,
breathing on the breeze that makes the trees outside my window tremble...
beating softly with the pulse of my heartbeat...
Waiting.

Lingering outside the doorway, I waste away precious minutes
reading a magazine, running errands, napping, sipping tea
your Shadow outlined in my mind...
Within my interior walls,
I languish, even though I know you are here...
I still choose my isolation as if were a security blanket,
but it is something I Know.

You, oh Holy Stranger,
Pose the threat of Life.
You, oh beautiful waiting One...
offer freedom, communion, and really, really hard work...
and if I invite You to step through
and speak to the deepest ground of my being,
I wonder,
will I listen?
Will I have the courage to see the Holy You?

Please, come in.
Speak to me.
Help me know You.
Amen.

standing among strangers....

so,
I am supposed to be up here in my office writing my sermon about driving in Boston, strangers, the public, and the road to Emmaus...
but after writing the intro, am thinking I need to read a little more to figure out how all this will tie together.
hope it does...
but also am thinking about my life as an artist,
and how it has virtually dried up this past year.
Yes, I have continued to get to the studio at least 3x a month, but with clay, you can't just do three days a month.
I miss it...and almost feel like a stranger to it...instead of thinking about it all of the time. I love thinking about it.
My skills have really lagged...I had such a wonderful foundation when I was throwing everyday a couple of years ago...and although all of that body memory will come back, what I need to do is practise.

Few people are clay prodigies!

Back to strangers, Jesus, and driving.

my heart...

is in a post Easter slump.
How crazy is that?
It could be the black jelly beans I ate today...(sugar low?)
or just perhaps not taking enough time out to regroup.
The train is moving fast, but I just need to reflect and re-orient.

I can do that.
I just need to make it a priority.

Help me reorient, reprioritize, reflect, and renew.

Amen.

All that is holy....

...today.
Lucy jumping on the bed to get a pet,
Dottie rubbing against my ankles while I type...
The wind whipping and whistling and blowing loudly, shaking everything...
The tiny birds nestled in the shrubs in my neighbor's yard...
The quiet house
My full heart
My random thoughts
and Your Presence
keeping me grounded and broken and whole.
Amen.

Friday Five: Time and Transitions

Over at RevGals, Mother Laura helps us adjust to and enjoy Daylight Savings Time and Liturgical transitions from Lent to Holy Week by offering this Friday Five about time and transitions....

1. If you could travel to any historical time period, which would it be, and why?
As a woman, I am not sure I would want to go anywhere back in time...I wouldn't mind going into fantasy time, like to "The Mists of Avalon" because of the mysticalness of it all.

2. What futuristic/science fiction development would you most like to see?
Definitely a robot that will clean my house from top to toe. We must be close to that, right?

3. Which do you enjoy more: remembering the past, or dreaming for the future?
I hope the cherishing of the past, the good, the bad, and the ugly helps me dream for the future, but I guess sometimes it just gives me a more realistic roadmap with which to chart the course. I am a real day by day kind of person...

4. What do you find most memorable about this year's Lent?
The evening we had eight confirmation boys participate in a bible study with our beloved elderfolk and other adults. We had a wonderful evening of getting to know each other and grappling with Luke 15: The Lost parables. It was dear and sweet and lively.

5. How will you spend your time during this upcoming Holy Week? What part do you look forward to most? I look forward to a peace vigil we are planning for Wednesday, marking the anniversary of the war in Iraq...and I look forward to all the services...and I feel certain what I will look forward to the most is a nap on Easter Sunday afternoon!

What if...

I heard about a church today that orders its liturgy around "A Time for..."

I love it.

What would it be like to have a liturgy that hung on:

A time for welcome
A time for peace
A time for friendship
A time for letting go, making amends
A time for reflection
A time for sorrow
A time for celebration
A time for risk
A time for belonging
A time for wondering
A time for gratitude
A time for blessing

Hmm. Maybe a little long, but I like framing worship in a way that is accessible and participatory...and different.

I also would love to engage our adults in a faith formation series that included a writing of a statement of faith just like we ask confirmation students to do.

What else. Hmmm. The idea of boards and commissions becoming spiritual communities....there is a book about that, I think. I don't know it.

I just wanted to remember these thoughts.
On to supper, and then meeting.

Peace to you!

a Monday day.

So, Mondays are my day off.
Today, I allowed myself to sleep in, as I didn't sleep well in the night. I didn't get up until after 9!
Then, I cleaned the kitchen,
ate girl scout cookies and coffee for breakfast...
read a book about being a suicide survivor,
resisted the urge to check work email/do work...
walked Venus Las Vegas,
did an errand...
sketched,
thought about rolling out some tiles,
talked to God,
petted Lucky,
decided to read a novel,
then my beloved called because the red line train was stopped and could I come downtown and find her?
so, I did.
Got caught in traffic.
Found her at Tremont and Park.
Got lost going back,
so took the long way through Kendall Square (don't even ask how I ended up there)
Dropped beloved off at work,
Went to grocery store...
thought about exercising,
Made italian vegetable soup instead...and tuna salad for lunch tomorrow...
thought about doing some work,
breathed,
and blogged instead.

I need to remember that Sabbath is rest.
Just however that happens,
but the important thing is to
allow myself not to produce.
Not to create, if I don't feel like it...
but just be in my skin.
However that unfolds.

So, as unmonumentous as today has been,
however mundane it has been...
It has been a gift.

As the sun sinks behind the houses across the street..
and the shadowed branches of the leafless trees silhouette my windows,
this pause is just to say...
dear sweet One,
I am grateful for this day.
Truly.
Indeed.
Amen.

The feast of heaven.

so..
it has been a thoughtful week in ministry.
I coordinated the worship service last Sunday to include the participation of children, and it was a big hit. I was chafing a bit, because it was still a traditional service, and frankly too long for children. However, the parts the children did--acting out scripture, leading the Psalm, writing the prayer of thanksgiving was wonderful. I know the adults loved it, but the question is, what did the children experience? How did they feel?

Then, Tuesday, I celebrated monthly communion a the nursing home. The group this month was not as conversant as they can be...more of the people in their little worlds than usual. In any case, it was hard--it made me wonder, what is "age appropriate, developmentally relevant" worship for the nursing home population that I serve?


The best thing, though, is when I was serving communion, and I placed the host on one woman's tongue, and she looked at me and said, "What the hell is this?" and I stopped, and said, "Well, it's the bread of life" and she said, "it has absolutely no taste" to which I responded, "hmmm. Yes. you are right. It is supposed to be the feast of heaven, but I suppose this doesn't taste like it." She spit it out.
It was an honest, alive, real moment.
And,
it made me think.

God of the table,
Love at the feast,
Help me remember
the moment,
the honest truth,
and be faithful
in relevance,
respect,and practise.
Amen.

It is snowing

...again. The third time this week. and it is March 1. My beloved and I had decided to go on a day trip today to SOMEWHERE. But now, it is grey and white and wet and slushy and not a great day to sightsee. Movies, I think we will do. Or...just home reading books. Who knows. Everybody but me right now is still snuggled up in bed.

So, on to writing my homily for tomorrow.

Then maybe, if I hurry, I can go back to bed, too! ;-)

Leapin' Lizards....RGBP Friday Five

Songbird and willsmama over at RevGals leapt into this one! I don't know if I have any thoughts on this, so I think I will just go for it and see what happens....
They write:
It's Leap Day!! Whether you're one of the special few who have a birthday only once every four years, or simply confused by the extra day on the calendar, everyone is welcome to join in and play our Leap Year Friday Five.

Tell us about a time you:

1. Leapt before looked
Pretty much any time I jump into water. I close my eyes.

2. Leapt to a conclusion
Hmmmm. Too often to admit.

3. Took a Leap of Faith
Moving to Florida, Moving to New York City, Moving to the South, Moving to New England.....life is one big leap, I think....

4. Took a literal Leap
When I was about eight, my twin sister and I were in a three legged race, and at first, we were sort of stumbling, but(instead of falling on our faces)we leapt into a perfect spring and we blew the rest of the third graders out of the water. I will never forget that feeling of being in perfect connection with her...it was exhilarating!

5.And finally, what might you be faced with leaping in the coming year?
Well, I am feeling out of kilter for an array of reasons--personal grief over my nephew's suicide, and professional stress. So, being diligent and open and honest about self-care and focus is going to be key...living my life instead of it living me.

New Mercies

I woke up incredibly stressed and tired today, clutching my blackberry and pushing the snooze button every five minutes.
Then, I rolled over, closed my eyes, and breathed...
and sang this in my heart:
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases,
God's mercies are new everyday,
They are new every morning,
New every morning,
Great is thy faithfulness, O God,
Great is they faithfulness.

I breathed some more,
closed my eyes, and prayed to be open to new mercies today.
I felt something heavy and soft on my chest..
and opened my eyes to see Callie touching me with her paw.

new mercies indeed.
Amen.

Lost

You know, there are days when you just don't know where you are.
In your heart,
In your work,
In your administrivia,
In your ministry,
In your life.

Come find me, Holy One.
I think I am a little lost.
I will wait for You.
Amen.

pleeeeeeze

I hate this commercial on t.v. where people are chanting "Who stole a cookie from the cookie jar" and someone answers, "I stole the cookie from the cookie jar....and I lost 5 billion pounds on the COOKIE DIET."

Cookie friggin diet?

Can someone explain, pleeeze?

Heavenly Friday Five

This is my play on the RGBP Heavenly Friday Five
What is your idea of a heavenly (i.e. wonderful and perfect):
1. Family get-together
I think a heavenly family get together is a giant hike and picnic lunch, just being together and enjoying creation. In my greater family, it's simply being gathered together in my sister's living room, parents, sisters, spouses, children, dogs, cats, a music concert on t.v., and a million conversations going and laughing.
2. Song or musical piece
Anything by Patty Griffith, anything on hammered dulcimers, anything by Allison Krauss, and Barber's Adagio for strings.
3. Gift
Shoes. Books.
4. You choose whatever you like-food, pair of shoes, vacation, house, or something else. Just tell us what it is and what a heavenly version of it would be.
Shoes. Books. Any version of aforementioned is heavenly. Of course, right now at this point in a New England Winter, a week on a private beach somewhere warm and sunny and tropical sounds divine.
5. And for a serious moment, or what would you like your entrance into the next life to be like?
What, from your vantage point now, would make Heaven "heavenly?"
hmmm. Heaven heavenly? I don't know. Perhaps that those who suffer so much here from violence, pain, war, injustice, hunger--especially children and mothers and elders--would experience the sweetness of belonging and mercy and love and justice.

Journey to Emmaus

At the end of our Lenten Bible studies,
we celebrate communion. It is very low key, and we just sort of do it off the cuff. (Hey, probably the way Jesus did it the first time, huh?). So, I used the story of two travelers walking the road to Emmaus, and meeting the stranger, and in the breaking of bread together, they realized it was Jesus.
My colleague was looking at me strangely...(not sure if the story was approved)
but I really love that story. It seems so fitting for the celebration of communion. I have been looking for a good liturgy, for worship, that incorporates that story, but haven't found one. Guess I will need to write my own.

I have been on my own journey to Emmaus, these days...recounting the events of the past month, even year, but especially month...and there have been countless holy encounters with people I hardly know. I also realize, as I walk, how attentive, extra attentive I need to be to self care. I am not doing a great job at that...and that is nuts.

So, my prayer is for attentiveness and attending
to this person, me, that you have created, Holy One.
Circle me with your love,
Illumine me...help me be gentle, with me...
It sounds so self absorbed...but I know I need to fight that...
and simply take care, take care, take care.
Amen.

Lucky buns

So Lucky is our oldest cat. He was almost named Bullet, because he was found by the side of the road, shot by someone who I guess didn't want him sleeping in his hay in the barn any more (Hey, wait, aren't barn cats good for like, keeping the barn mice population under control???) I digress. A wonderful, skilled vet saved his life, but had to leave the bullet in him. You can feel it. Anyway, that was years ago, and Lucky has lived to the ripe age of 13 or 14 (not exactly sure). He is snow white with blue eyes (you can only see him curled up in the picture). He has become a bit senile the past few months, and walks around the house with a dog toy or sock stuffed in his mouth, meaowing, which is muffled, and sounds more like a trumpet. He walks in circles doing this. Is he hiding his babies? His prey? I don't know, but it is the funniest sound, and I love that he does that. He is the crabbiest, loudest, sweetest old man cat here.

and speaking of rocks....

So, for children's time, the Sunday after the women's retreat, I decide to talk about Psalm 18:6, where the Psalmist says "God is my rock and my refuge". I wonder out loud with the kids, "hmmmm. I wonder what that means--God is my rock? How can God be like a rock?"
Well, their wondering went flat...mostly I think because these children in this parish haven't really been offered the possibility of different images of God,besides "our Father" and Jesus. All and good, I say, but whoah--so many more in the Bible! Back to the point--I encouraged them to wonder this thought with their families, in the car, at bedtime. It was clear this was a new concept--God as a rock!
Well, the next day I get an email from a member, who said she was doing her spiritual duty to engage in conversation with her child. It went like this:
"Honey, do you want to talk about what Pastor Karla said in church, about God being like a rock?"
"Nope, I already know"
(at this point, mom noted that a little hubris is normal in a six-year old, and I should foster her self-confidence but also maintain my place as a spiritual teacher)
"Well, can you tell me honey?"
Honey replies matter of factly, "You know how a lot of rocks have crystals inside them that we can't see? Well, God is like the crystal inside of all of us."

Guess who is the real spiritual teacher in this family!

Stones on the Road

So, a week ago, I led our church women's retreat. It began with registration around
4:00 (read wine and cheese hour between the lines, because I missed that but will make note of that next year) Dinner at 6:30, and then a group gathering that night, followed by more wine and cheese into the wee hours of the night. We had 40 women at this lovely retreat center in our city, which made it possible for some women to attend only Friday evening; and others only Saturday. I completely overplanned, but it was o.k. It was the best retreat ever...because it
EMERGED and EVOLVED in the way it needed to.
I provided a gentle structure,
and women were able to move around it in the way they needed.

So, Friday evening, we built cairns in small groups, marking where God's presence had been with us lately, like the Israelites....and the parting of the river as Joshua led them into the promised land, where they built a cairn/altar of twelve stones from the river bed they passed through to Gilgal.
After sharing, we brought the cairns back to the altar space in the middle of the room, and had a meditation...silent, and then lit candles for prayers, and sang the Tallis Canon in round. It was very lovely.

Saturday morning, I plans to continue this theme, but since we had 40 women, three generations of fabulous ladies, someone said, can we just sit in one large group, and share about ourselves--our names, a little something of who we are, and how we ended up in this church? Even though a 40 person sharing time sounded like a nightmare to me, we went with it. What magic! What blessing! That Holy Spirit sure does work wonders, huh?

We continued with the stone theme thru the afternoon...and pack-up and left. Our church isn't that big,so to have 40 women was to have about 1/3 of the church present.

It was wonderful...and I just want this post to be my stone of remembrance and gratitude for that time, so I can return to it (especially in the lean, wilderness times of ministry).

So, I set my stone here as remembrance.
Amen.