dreams snippets...

from last night:

*cooking with my dogs in a great kitchen....

*taking care of a dog named Oscar who pooped in his sleep because he was nervous for his job interview today. I told him it was o.k.

*seeing my twin sister call me and tell me our oldest sister died.

*trying to change my flights but realizing I on a layover and I don't really know where exactly I am.

*riding in a Archie comics-style convertible jalopy, trying to find out what happened to my sister.

Real Life Thought Snippets
*Really want some new shoes. Not for any occasion. Just spring fever.

*So tired again today. WHY??? Maybe it's all that shredding.

*If I could choose my accent, it would definitely be Texan.

* Wish I didn't have a meeting tonight.

*Wondering if anyone will come to church on Sunday for our inaugural "What if Everybody Came Sunday"

*Can't wait for real warm weather.

*Wondering if I really need to drive home and back to let the cat in and close the back door that is open.

*Maybe I need to invest in hand weights for shredding.

*Thinking about wearing dresses and skirts again. For no specific reason, I stopped.

*Really got to find some focus. Maybe I will go visit my favorite 95 year old.

Thank God that God loves me even when I am scattered like this!

total...timewasting.....

so,
after getting Sunday's bulletin together, and catching up on some email, and besides cleaning the kitchen and getting Shredded (thanks to another revgal who blogged about this--Cheesehead!) I have pretty much been useless today.
I spent the past hour (I kid you not, and if you are a member of my church and reading this, please know that I am usually OVER productive....) shopping for shoes on Amazon AFTER I looked for a few important resources that I learned about over the BE2 weekend. (I just put them in my cart, but didn't press "pay")

I do have plenty to do...
I guess re-entry is a little harder than I expected--especially since it is school vacation week and it is like an empty tomb around here. No one is here, 'cept me and Chester (not real name) the person who comes from the cleaning service. AT my office, not home. (sigh.)

The day is rainy and grey...and I miss the brilliance and warmth of the desert.

O.k.--I read this on a local blog in the community newspaper. She talked about how juicy npr reporter's name are--Sylvia Pojolli, Mandolita Barcos, Lakshmi Singh...and so she came up with a formula to make up your own.
First, take the first initial of your middle name and insert it anywhere in your first name.
For your last name, use the smallest city you have visited in a country besides your home country.

I figured the smallest cities I ever visited were in Scandanavia, but I couldn't remember which ones they were. In any case, I came up with
"Kjarla Lillesand"
Pretty good name, huh?

Oh, and a gratitude. This morning, my step-father had surgery this morning on his back to relieve sciatic pain that has rendered him virtually housebound since last fall. I am happy to report that the surgeon proclaimed the surgery a wonderful success and that my step-father would be all fixed up now! Thank you God!

Back to Sunday School attendance lists, three weeks late. oy!

beautiful feet

BE 2.
Beautiful feet,
Beautiful time,
Beautiful place,
Beautiful blessings
shared,
given,
received,
and
created.

So, so , so grateful.
Amen.

easter monday...

just checking in..
am definitely fighting something deep in my chest....but lots of tea and liquids and low key activities and pets from the furry friends should do the trick. please, please, please....

it is cold, windy, and studded with sunshine today.

I have so much to get done before Wednesday evening.

But then, Thursday...off to warm and sunshine to the BE2 in Arizona. Gotta find my plane reservations. hmmmm.

Mostly, today, I am thinking about Fiji, and the military coup there. I have seen nothing about this in our news...and to think an entire land is being held captive and censored--most Americans, I dare say, think of Fiji as this elegant place of dreamy beauty, heavenly beaches, and gorgeous paradise. Which I am sure it is. But my blog friend Wendy, reminds me that the world, while it is so small at times, is so unconnected because of power and wealth and what they deem important. She doesn't write that, I do. Please, visit her blog, and say prayers for Fiji. And while you are at it, visit her other blog where her artwork is posted. She does some marvelous images--some by scanning in actual rocks and branches and pebbles straight into her computer and then playing with color and texture.

may peace be within you today...

Easter Blessings...

We had a lovely service today...
beautiful music, balloons, lilies and tulips and hyacinths (sp?)...
happy people, squirmy children, cooing babies...
even some humour....
and a wild story from my colleague about a statue named "Jesus Scourged" that made the rounds of pranks while he was a novitiate in a monastery.
At the end, everyone who wants joins the choir (EVERYONE, including 5 year olds) at the front to sing the Hallelujah Chorus. What fun. And, they even sounded great!
The coffee was fellowshipped, the eggs in the park hunted, prayers were offered....
and then on home.

We took the dogs to Revere Beach (pretty urban, not really pristine, but does lay claim to the oldest public beach in USA). It. Was. Butt. Freezing. Cold.

The poodles had a blast running around the waves, but of course, Venus and Fenway were surfing for beach snacks. Venus even decided to put a clump of ylechly soggy seaweed. Slimy.

We drove around a little...and then home for the Great Resurrection Nap. I slept over two hours...am a little concerned as my throat is scratchy, my body achy, chilly, and a cough developing. I have too much to get done before Thursday a.m...please please please please please please just let this be tired-ness.......

Now...
Am thinking about Easter Supper.
Hmmmmmm.


Anyway,
Hallelujah!

holy saturday....

so..
holy saturday just sort of feels like saturday.
it's the first saturday in a month that I haven't been busy with church stuff, and I can do family stuff all day.

last night, I was irreverently commenting to my colleague,
"poor Jesus...we laid him in the tomb last Sunday....dragged him back out to be crucified again on Thursday, and then again tonight (Good Friday) we hang him back there on the cross to die again. I bet he looks forward to Saturday when he can finally rest up for the big happening on Easter morning"

which is to say, I suppose,
I am ready for resurrection myself.

and...thank you Jesus, for being so patient with us.

amen.

Good Friday..or God's Friday....

or...Karla's Friday, today?

In spite of being a New England congregational-UCC church, we do observe Holy Week each evening of this week, but not as much as I was used to as a child. However, I know culture has changed, as well. In any case, last night we had a moving quasi-tenebrae service, which involved foot washing, communion, diminishing and extinguishing of all of the lights.
quite moving...

and this evening, we will have a reflective meditation service in our chapel, led by our seminary intern.

today, however, I pray to keep God in this holies of Fridays. I will go to class this morning, as usual...and pick up round the house, do errands, stuff easter eggs for the hunt on Sunday, begin working on my sermon and the service for the 26 of April...and...maybe plant some pansies in front of the church--early on Easter or tomorrow.

in all of this...
dear God...
help my heart keep watch with you..
help my thoughts and mind be open to how
I might be moved closer to you..
so I might better be your servant.

amen. amen. amen.

just cats

how can this be?

In Massachusetts,
if you are a gay or lesbian couple that are willing and able to be foster parents,
DSS has a whole set of extra questions beyond what they ask het couples.
ABOUT SEX.
Isn't that discrimination? Promulgation of the myth that even when we GLBT folk are in loving relationships, that somehow our sexual practices are still wrong, taboo, warped, whatever?
Somehow, that doesn't sound legal, does it?

I know this, because I have a friend in a same sex marriage who will be fostering her niece and nephew--DSS is involved because the parent of the child is charged with neglect. and emotional abuse.

Opening Day

Today is opening day here in Red Sox Nation.
Looks like it might rain, so not sure the game will happen. We will see.
Tonight is the final four championship. GO CAROLINA!

Hah! It sounds like I am this HUGE sports fan. I do love baseball...and like basketball, but I don't live and breathe sports. But, that's what is happening in my world today.

It is good that it is Monday. The weekend, as always, was busy. Much of Saturday was sermon writing, and errands. Sunday, was great, but long. Usually, whether I am preaching or not, I get up around 5:30 just to get in Sunday mode. I pray to be present to the morning of seeing people, engaging conversations, following up on details, etc. Usually, it all goes by too fast. I love Sunday mornings and the gathering of the congregation.

There were lots of visitors yesterday--some I was expecting, and some who were totally new. I preached on the Passion of Christ and the anointing woman, entitled "A Beautiful Thing". I wasn't sure how it would all come together, such a hard Sunday to preach--after hearing the whole passion narrative. It was more of a serious service, I think. The music was unbelievably gorgeous. Ahh!

During coffee hour, we celebrated a 95 birthday....I missed most of it, because I was busy talking to visitors. One couple I met, are here on sabbatical from Korea. He is teaching religion at BC, and is a professor at a Jesuit university in Seoul. I asked him (wild stab here) if he knew my dearest friend who is a professor at a another theological school in Seoul. He said, oh, yes~~I know her work! Guess she is doing pretty good over there--she is a prolific writer and theologian. Small world. And very cool. After swishing into to coffee hour, I talked to another congregant who was looking for simple children's prayers she could record so her child could listen to them at night before sleep. I showed her our resource room, and she was in heaven picking out prayer books (I have a pretty good library of children's books in our resource room. It is really nice.)Then there was a meeting to talk about the landscaping plan in front of the church--we are repairing crumbling columns and uneven sidewalk (replaced with brick)...and pulled out some really unruly yew bushes. It will make the front of the church a little more inviting. The whole plan emerged quite quickly, but it will look great, and take care of some much needed repairs.

Then, home...did a little work in the back yard, talked about 40 minutes to someone who needed to vent and be listened to...and got back to church for a youth karaoke party at 3:00. I got home after 7.

So...you see why I am happy it is Monday!

A little down time is good.
I am going to take the next hour and journal and pray...then do some mopping and kitchen cleaning...run out for an appointment....squeeze in some time to finish some little pottery boxes I am making, exercize...and be ready for a meeting at 7:00.

Today,
Dear God,
there is much in my heart...some of it is unbloggable, some of it I just don't have the energy to articulate...
I am grateful for this day...
Grateful for your presence.
I just need to rest in you today.
amen.

The Donkey

The Donkey

When fishes flew and forests walked

And figs grew upon thorn,

Some moment when the moon was blood

Then surely I was born;

With monstrous head and sickening cry

And ears like errant wings,

The devil's walking parody

On all four-footed things.

The tattered outlaw of the earth,

Of ancient crooked will;

Starve, scourge, deride me:
I am dumb,
I keep my secret still.

Fools! For I also had my hour;

One far fierce hour and sweet:

There was a shout about my ears,

And palms before my feet.


G.K. Chesterton (1874–1936)

a beautiful thing

you don't have a name...
you were part of a household...
where did the nard come from? you probably had some means...
your tears.
your tears.
your tears.
hmm. do you have tears in this text? no.
no tears.
who are you?

what moved you to do this beautiful thing...

you anointed Jesus as a king would be.

anointed him because you saw who he was...and you heard what he was saying...
and before your story, the priests and scribes were plotting...
and after your story...Judas is making a deal to betray...

and the twelve don't get it.

A beautiful thing, Jesus says, is what you have done.
or...the greek translated more commonly as a good thing, an ethical thing. like almsgiving. I like 'beautiful'

I dont' know.

I know you are speaking to me..
about taking what is precious and beautiful...and using it to touch others...to touch the suffering Christ in others...to....
speak to me, ancient sister.
speak to me..give me wisdom to hear your story, to share your story...to make it all make sense,
somehow.

a little more on prayer....

I mentioned before that I am in a group of colleagues praying daily during lent, and we check in once weekly.

How has this been transforming?

For me, I have experienced an abundance of love and compassion and joy and connection
with everything and everyone around me..and to Christ within.
It is like I want to embrace it all and say...
Oh, oh, oh!
You are loved!
You are wonderful!
You are...baptized, a child of God, and the Divine knows and cares.

I found myself walking with my youth in Times Square...and we stopped at a light, and I just was so crazy with delight for them, I leaned over and said,
"I know this is nutty, but I have to tell y'all, I just LOVE YOU!"
They grinned.
Then we walked into the M & M palace or world or whatever.

The same tenderness breezes through me as I sit at potluck dinners with four 90 plus year old women as we discuss the movie Chocolat and God....

or when I am walking in the park, marveling at the tenacity of Canadian Geese swimming in the freezing Mystic River.

Just thought I would share that.
No point. Just sharing.

p.s. to those asking about family in ND--all is well and all are holding up. My immediate family lives in the NW part of the state, and reports from other extended family is that everyone is holding their breath, but so far....so good. Thanks for asking!

already so late this morning for the first gig...

...since I didn't get home last night until after 9:30, and my congregation is on the other side of BeanTown (west) from where I live (north) but I gotta say this--

I JUST LOVE ME THE REVGALBLOGPALS!!!
Even though mostly I surf through posts when I can't take time to write comments all the time..so I am mostly on the periphery....but I gotta say it.
ALL OF YOU ROCK.

The depth of this blog community, the humour, the support, the articulate theology and thoughtful reflections and oceans of juicy diversity...
ahh.
love it.

What a taste of heaven on earth all of you are.

Looking forward to BE2...and...for someday, my first RevGal meetup!

really gotta run now, so I am not too late for meeting far across beantown. (can I shower, make lunch, walk dogs, exercise, eat breakfast in 20 minutes??? uhhhhh)

holy spirit sighting

today I was jogging in the park along the river. (jogging slowly)
I came upon the stone pillar in the middle of the lawn that marks the name of the park, and a huge redtail hawk was perched on it....we were eye to eye, about five feet apart. The hawk calmly watched me as I ran by...and then I stopped and turned around to gaze at its wild beauty until it flew off in majestic glory, soaring over the river, circling back, and landing in a tree, with another gorgeous redtail.

Hawks are fierce, strong, a little scary sometimes, but for me, a symbol of the Holy Spirit...I need that wild fierce presence of God filling me and with me for the living of these days.
Amen.

Prayer

I am in a cohort of people being trained to be a church coach for evangelism and vitality in our Conference. One of our projects together is reading the book, "Unbinding Your Heart" by Martha Grace Reese which is a forty day commitment to daily prayer, and weekly meetings to pray for one another, and talk about how our prayer lives are moving (or not) as well as talk about some of the ideas in the book. The "unbinding" series is part of a larger "real-evangelism series" written for mainline denominations that are wanting to embrace growth as a mission, and learning the practice of invitation rather than relying on the attraction approach of growth. (If we are doing what we do, people will be attracted to us and come). Outreach is a whole other topic, and I digress.

The book is intended for congregations--for forty days, a congregation cancels all meetings, and instead, they work through this book--personally and corporately in small groups that meet weekly. I understand that congregations that have gone through this process are markedly transformed. Understandable. They are praying for one another and the world in a focused, regular way.

Gay Reese's reflections are really wonderful, I have to say. They are accessible for anyone, and yet deep. They remind the reader/prayer of mindfulness in everyday life, and she provides an array of scripture to read and reflect upon. My prayer life has become incredibly consistent by using this tool, and I have to say I am beginning to be much more "all of me here in the moment" than I ever have.

It's a little scary, too. I am learning that I am the kind of person that doesn't easily give up control--she makes the remark that some people are the kind that say "oh, thanks God, for the tip! It all makes sense. So give me back my life now, I can take it from here". OOOhh. I get that. I pray, I receive, and then go on my independent way.

I pray for a heart and life steeped in prayer. But, if this sort of things happen, I better, as Annie Dillard says, get a crash helmet--it is the Creator of the Universe I am being vulnerable to, you know? This is pretty risky.

Can I live this way? I pray I can.
Amen.

Springy Saturday

Ahh. It has been a very busy week. Four nights in a row at work, with multiple meetings/potlucks/visits. In spite of being busy, it all was great. I just LOVE what I get to do.

This morning, though I felt like a brick wall had crashed over me. We got up to go to a WW meeting at 8:00. When I got home around 9:00, I crawled back into bed for just a few more minutes. I literally didn't wake up until 2:00 pm, and then I had to make myself get up. I have been really tired lately--it is true fatigue--and I suppose I need to go and get some bloodwork done. I have had episodes of chronic mono in the past, and although I don't think that this is it, I do think getting it checked would be good. Besides being fatigued, I feel good--my heart is light, I am satisfied and grounded emotionally and spiritually, I am exercising regularly, and I even have lost a little weight. I have energy--in spite of the physical fatigue.

The day today is gorgeous. I am waiting for a delivery, and after that happens, I am going to take Fenway for a walk/run through the greenway. She will like it, and I will love the sunshine on my face and body. It is still a tiny bit cool, but the sun makes all the difference. Last night I was talking to one of our 7th graders, and he commented how daylight savings time makes a world of difference. I have to agree. I LOVE these kids in our confirmation group. Again, who else gets to do work like this for a living? I know that some pastors/congregations have touch times, conflict, personalities, difference of opinions, and that is probably true in pockets where I get to serve...
but that has been true anywhere I have served.
In spite of the level of conflict or difference of opinion or vision,
ministry, being with people, loving people, being on a journey with Christ together, ahh...well, it rocks. I love it.

Today, when we were coming back from WW, we (Beloved and me) made a bet about when Target opens. Don't ever question me about Target--I know my Target, trust me. We bet a pair of shoes, if I win, a new running outfit if Beloved won.

Guess who won (and I didn't initiate the bet, Beloved did. So. Sure. of. Rightness.)
HAH! I won. Then Beloved mentioned that of course because there is an economic crisis, I would of course, being thoughtful and frugal, forgo my booty.
Huh. hmmm. Well, maybe for now. But spring is coming, and sandals must be had. Don't you think? ;-)

Again, another random post. But, well, maybe it is spring fever.

Thank you for the Joy in my heart, oh Joyful Holy One.
Amen.

scattered thoughts today...

randomly,
I am thinking about these things.
I am at the age now, where it is not uncommon for my peers to be dealing with a terminally ill parent--or a sudden death of one.
It's huge.

I now know personally two people in very good professional jobs who have been laid off. One was done with grace. The other sounds like a complete knock-out out of nowhere. I also have a colleague whose two sisters have been laid off in the past few months. It can happen to any of us, and to any one we know.

My neighbor has a new puppy, baby Bella, the Bernese Mountain Dog. She is hilarious.

This is a good moment, this pause as I feel the keys under my tapping fingers, listening to the drone of the vacuum cleaner that someone is running across the hall in the pre-school room, while a very loud mommy picks up her child and puts her in the bathroom and tells her not to lock it. That would my cue to lock it to see what would happen. Am surprised the child did not take advantage. The mom is really loud, though. Now she is explaining about Girl Scout cookies.

My heart aches, especially for the one friend who was laid off yesterday.

I wonder when the snow will melt after the dump of 12 inches yesterday.

There is a little boy in the preschool who gets in trouble EVERY day. He is having a hard time. I suspect he might have some special needs. Prayers for him...and his parents....

The sun is absolutely brilliant this afternoon. Wonderful.

I need to clean my office. Someone just came by and asked me if I was moving. (four giant boxes arrived today, full of specially imprinted church mugs--plus a box of curriculum, and another box of old pictures somebody dumped in my office. Plus two Trader Joe bags full of stuff, and an overflow of papers on the floor to be filed. Sigh.) I am not moving.

I can't get the Beyonce song, Put a Ring On it, out of my head. uh, uh, oh..uh, uh oh.....

I wish I could dance like Beyonce

Time for me to stop writing. My stream of thought is deteriorating.

Peace to you~~

so. it's Lent

we had a lovely service tonight.
with candles. with flash paper. with chants. and remembering our baptisms. and even, a potluck supper.

I do love lent. the drawing in. the emphasis on intention. the invitation to conscious journey.

Tonight I was reminded, by someone who is fairly new to our community how foreign church can be, and yet people are still willing to come because they know they will find something like God In Community there--in spite of being in recovery from abusive or spiritually absent religious community experience in the past.

"uhh, what is a hymn again? I just was saying I had a mystical experience when the choir was singing. wasn't that the hymn?"

Looking at me, said, "I am so new at this. Isn't that the hymn? When the choir sings by itself? " Looking at the music minister, who was trying to figure out what anthem was so touching, said, "don't worry, you aren't responsible for what makes me and God click"

leaves me speechless.

polyphonic afternoon

I close my eyes..
and listen..
to the grey whistle of the wind whipping against everything...
and underneath that is the traffic of trucks and cars racing down the avenue..
but a little above that is the humm and gentle gurgle of the radiator...
while Daisy's snoring keeps the rhythm
and sometimes the faint roar of a jet enters in, on its way to Logan, or just taking off to somewhere,
somewhere,
somewhere...
and then there is the occasional solo line for a sparrow, chirping alone from the tree beyond my window...
and Lucky cat, warm against my side, breathing so softly,
blocking my way
so I can't get up without disturbing his peace...
so instead, I breathe in his peace, and the ordinary symphony of this moment.
amen.

An Altar in the World

is the title of Barbara Brown Taylor's newest book.

It is elegant, beautiful, and wise.

A. Must. Read.



I am going to use some of her thoughts to frame next week's sermon.

Would write more, but I am down for the count with a deep hack of a cough and sore throat. Today is day for reading blogs, not writing.

Friday Five: Memorable Pets

This week's revgalblogpals FF is to name five memorable pets.

I say, oh my! Only five?

I will try....
In no particular order:

This is our Lucky cat, who is old and crotchedy and whines a lot these days, except when he is fast asleep, and he looks like a bunny-angel. Beloved rescued him off the side of a road where a farmer had shot him. Rushed to the vet, Lucky survived, albeit with a bullet still lodged under his skin. You can even feel it to this day.


What can I say? Aren't poodles always memorable in their silly, high energy ways? This is Daisy and Tikky, 11 and 10, respectfully. They still act like 3 year olds.



This is Callie, who has more personality than any human or animal or plant should ever have. She is currently leaping from the chair to my desk...then I pick her up, put her down so I can type, and then she just keeps doing it. Relentless. But loves her bling!


This is Venus las Vegas--she survived major surger this fall, and is doing well. She is truly our angel. Besides having lots of arthritis, she has recently started to lose her hearing. But not her love!


Buster crossed over the Rainbow Bridge this fall. He could not have been more sweeter. He was the calm, even-tempered, laid back presence in our family. We miss him.


This is Cowboy Kojak the One-eyed wonder. We found him in a parking lot, skin and bones and what looked like an eye injury. The vet said he might live a month. He spent two and half years terrorizing our household. I could throw him over my shoulder and do dishes, and he would purr and be so happy. However, he hated all four legged creatures and he would prowl the house to chase poodles, cats, and other dogs. We had to lock him up at night so the other kitties could come out to play. Oh, and did I mention he had chronic diarrhea for those two and half years? However, he learned to mellow slightly, and I just loved him. He loved me, too, in his own way. I know he is raising hell over the rainbow bridge now.



This is sweet Annie. We only had her six months. We adopted her at 13 years, after she retired from being a guide dog. I never knew a creature before that truly embodied the word--Joy. She was the most happy-pants thing in the world. She died from cancer, but she had a rich life.

So...that's it for now....but I have to say our animals enrich our lives in so many ways. We all miss Molly, even if we only knew her through the virtual world of blogging. We are grateful for the ways in which she was God's Blessing to so many, and we celebrate her life. Love to Songbird and family as they walk through this great loss in their lives.

a day off

yay! it's monday....and I am just lounging, drinking coffee, and looking at my List of Things to Do. Just looking, mind you. I have already crossed off cleaning the kitchen. Still have to go out into the yard and pick up another layer of poop that has emerged in the melting snow. Ylech. At least it is sunny out. Must exercise, must hem pants, must get manicure ;-), must read, must walk doggies. Everything else is gravy.

The women's retreat was really, really great. We had around 40 women, and I had organized our time into three sessions, based on three poems by Mary Oliver. St. Mary Oliver, I should say. The first was The Summer Day--you know, the one that ends with "tell me, what will you do with your one wild and precious life"....that phrase became the sharing question in the large group: Tell one thing wild about you, and one thing precious to you or about you. It was fabulous--hilarious, dear, teary, and again, hilarious! I had asked them to each bring a poem or scripture that they treasured, and was going to use this in small groups, but we ran out of time. So, I asked several volunteers to read theirs during our brief worship time before "relaxing" time. It was beautiful.

In the morning, I used Oliver's poem, "Prayer", from her collection Thirst to launch morning devotions around the topic of prayer. For scripture, I had a list of mostly NT verses about prayer, and then I talked about my journey with prayer, with descriptive language for God, The Lord's Prayer, and more. Then, we broke into small groups, and I asked them to share with each other how they engaged in prayer or meditation, when they prayed, if they prayed, etc.
THEY LOVED TALKING ABOUT THIS. Honestly, I thought it was a risky question, because it is so personal, but they appreciated the diversity and integrity of the sharing in their groups.

After a break, we made prayer beads. I gave a little history on prayer beads, and then showed them how to make an Anglican Rosary, or how to adapt it to an Earth Rosary; and also showed them how to make LovingKindness strands, if that is what they wanted. I asked them to choose beads that spoke to them; and to choose a number of beads that was significant. I had purchased a ton of beads--about $100 dollars worth, besides others bringing some to share. I wish you could have seen the sight of 40 women, ranging from 27 years to 94 years old, beading together, on the floor, on chairs, at tables, helping one another, talking, laughing, relaxing, and very intentional about making a meaningful creation. My heart rejoiced. I loved it--every minute.

After lunch, we had a closing communion service. We used the poem "Thirst" to talk about what we thirsted for in our lives and for the world. That became our prayer. After the feast, we blessed the prayer beads, by passing them around the circle, one by one. The creativity was stunning. Truly.

Those 24 hours were full of the glory and grace of the Divine.
I am so grateful to have been a part of it.

Amen.

Day 2.

What bliss. In spite of it being 9 degrees outside, we have had two days of beautiful, joyful sunshine. Love soaking up my vitamin D the natural way!

Today I am finishing up my plans for the weekend retreat, getting things ready for Sunday, ordering curriculum, ordering 4th grade bibles. I had a lovely coffee meeting with a young woman who has been visiting our congregation...I love this part of my ministry--when I can spend time with people, and hear their stories and hopes and thoughts and regrets and....everything.
What can be richer?

What's up with you all?

yet to be revealed.

(picture from a national geographic forwarded email thingy with lots of other great pix)
Sometimes, I feel like this monkey, free, happy, in the middle of a treasure.

I was fortunate to be able to have the weekend off last weekend. A trip to NYC made it all the more fantabulously fun, in spite of frigid temperatures. A highlight, among many, was seeing the musical "Billy Elliott." Elton John wrote all of the music. It was so great. I highly recommend.

Today is our weekly snow day, it seems like. Once a week we seem to have a dump that snarls traffic and waylays plans. Poor kids around here are going to be in school until the end of July because there have been so many snow days. (slight exaggeration.)

Am trying to settle in and plan my women's retreat for the weekend. Of course I have a theme and many pieces, but it is putting it all together. PLUS not overpreparing. My church girlfriends like to have plenty of time for talking, talking, talking, and just having fun. It's a balance, for sure! The theme is from that beautiful Mary Oliver poem that asks, "Tell me, what do you plan to do with this one wild and precious life?" I have asked everyone to bring a poem, piece of scripture, or short reading that has been a source of strength for them. We are going to make prayer beads (how fun will that be?) and have time for large and small group sharing around strength, faith, and spirituality.

I am in a good place. In spite of obvious concern about the economy, the strain it puts on people's lives and budgets, as well as the strain on all of our church budgets (I suspect there are many congregations facing shortfalls this year), I have hope. Or, at least, I have no worry. My heart trusts in what will be, and I truly believe Julian of Norwich when she says "all shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of being shall be well." (I might not have this strictly quoted.)

So. We do what we can do, be kind as often as we can to whomever we can--when we remember--, we acknowledge that the people we encounter have lives that have trouble and joy just like our own...and we hope that we can be as gentle to others the ways in which we hope others are gentle to us.
Oh. yes. and we pray.
Amen.

Snowfall Commentary

Well, first. Let me say a few things about the Wovel (to the left) that I got for Christmas, while I worry about the load of snow piling up on my rooftop that is incredibly heavy from moisture, wondering if my roof will cave in. Please. That would wreck the weekend plans to getaway to NYC. I digress. The Wovel is like a snow shovel, except, as you can see from the picture, it has the capacity to move a lot of snow. This is a great tool for when the snow is light and fluffy, or when you don't have five feet of snow already piled up in your driveway, frontyard, backyard. The problem, is as the snowbanks get higher, it is increasingly difficult to try to pop it up that high, and you just end up making a mess that you have to go to your old fashioned shovel to fix.
In addition, the wovel has a pretty big shovel on it--which does in fact move a lot of snow, but one needs a lot of space to maneuver it--and since I am a urban dweller, there's not a lot of room to manage it. I would suggest a wovel lite, or mini-wovel, wovel petit that would make shoveling the tight areas feasible.
Would I throw 100 bucks at it again if I could do over. Probably. But, I am sorely tempted to check out the sales on the snow throwers (as they call them up here).
But, speaking of snow throwers, I feel like there is a little bit of competition between the two 20-30 something guys on our block that have these machines. It is really sweet--it is as if they are racing each other to help out all of the neighbors to blow their snow for them. Next door Fireman Guy was a little late in getting out, and across the street Hocky Guy had not only done his own sidewalk, but the neighbor across the street, next door to us, and all of the my driveway that he could. Wow. Lovin' that. Fireman Guy (also new to the neighborhood) had to go further down the block. I am sure that secretly he was so dissappointed he couldn't do our sidewalk--we are the best next door neighbors ever.
So, he did two driveways down the block. I was curious to see if he would do Skanky neighbors next to him, who have the dog that attacked another dog and my beloved while she was trying to save it. I couldn't really tell.
And, just randomly--why can't it be a rule that all snow should be light and fluffy and never wet, heavy, slushy, sleety, messy, icy stuff? It would be such an improvement. NOT that I am complaining or anything.

Day off and housebound.

It's Monday.
It is sooooo cold outside today, but I am home, and can't go anywhere until I get an important delivery that we missed on Friday. So, I have exercised, checked email, and now will settle in to do some planning for a women's retreat I am leading the first weekend in February.
Anybody got something great?

Anyway--there are a ton of things I should be doing, but I have been chilling out, surfing, shoe shopping...later I will bundle up and take doggies for their stroll. I am dying to get to the studio because I made all of these test tiles and I am so curious as to how the glazes came out. Hopefully the box I have to sign for will get here SOON.

In the meantime, the house is so quiet. Every single one of the nine furry friends that live here are happily snoozing.

I had an opinion I wanted to post, but I can't remember what it was!!! silly.

off to the races

well, not really.
just off to the gagillion things to get done today.


But, just had to tell an urban wild story. Yesterday, a guy like this one took exactly one hour to kill, pluck, and eat an entire sparrow in my pristine snow covered back yard. Now it is full of tiny feathers.


(picture totally not used with permission, a google result.)

intention.

maybe I wrote about this before...but I have been focusing on "intention" in what I have been doing lately.

In my ministry, I am urging others to be intentional, about invitation, about community, about praying. Intention gives so much more room for the Spirit to work, I think.

In me, too...being intentional is about being aware and mindful more than I am.

It's a spiritual discipline I am working on embracing more fully.

so wondrous...

(Thanks to Processing Counselor for the obamiconme.com website!)

This Day.
Hope,
Act,
Now.

Amen.

note to self.

when playing Friday Five late, one should read other's plays before playing.
let me offer one or two less superficial things you should know about me:

1. I can't hold a conflict or issue that needs to be resolved very long in my heart.
I have a deep need to not harbor resentment, or misunderstanding. It's about peacemaking.

2. I am incredibly adaptable and flexible. For example, if a child in my Sunday School want to move up to the next age level because her friends are in that class--I say "go for it!". If I make a plan, and someone says...you know, maybe we should add this or subtract that, its great. If I walk into a room, and it isn't what I expect, I go with the flow.

3. I love to collaborate. Love, love, love it. Really collaborate. That being said, at times I can be a tiny bit type a--you know what I mean--a sort of "it's easier to do it myself and get it done..." I am better at this than I used to be...but it creeps up.

4. It should be no surprise that I have a deep passion for the non-human world. I think that the veil between me and trees and plants and animals--wild and domestic--is fairly thin. I am no dog whisperer or Jack Hanna--but my heart hurts when I see a tree cut down for no reason, or possums in the back yard because their habitat has shrunk.

5.If I could be a rock star for a day, I always thought I would want to be Madonna. Now, I would rather be Beyonce.

very kind...

Purple gifted me with this:
"The Friends Award isn't about being the most popular blogger or having the most read blog. It is just because you consider the author a friend. These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award."

Aw...thanks, Purple.
I blog just because...it is a form of writing that I can just jot notes..just about the ordinary in my life. Thanks...friends and lurkers for stopping by once in awhile. I find the blog community lovely and interesting.

That being said, I don't know eight bloggers that HAVEN'T received this award! All of my bloggy friends are wonderful, deep, and authentic. And funny, too!

However, I can award one blogger who has reached thousands of parents and teachers and others around the topic of parenting and autism and advocacy and education. Jess, the author of Diary of a Mom has created an amazing community of support and friendship--a place where tears flow and laughter floats and caring abides. So, Jess, here you go! What you have done and are doing--is amazing!

Saturday "Friday Five"-5 Things You Should Know About Me

I didn't get to play RevGals Friday Five yesterday, but since I am needing to prime my pump for writing something that will preach tomorrow, I though I would play today. So here are five things you should know about me.
1. I love red shoes. I only have two pair, but two is enough. I also love all kinds of shoes.
2. I am very rule conscious and cautious when driving or parking. I never double park, or park in handicapped even if it is for a second, and I will never go over 8 miles past the speed limit.Some say that I drive like a "gramma". This is probably true.
3. I am GREAT at chilling out.
4. A nap is a treat for me--better than pizza.
5. I am shy way down deep in my heart. That being said, I love to laugh at myself and with others.

it's been a year...

We miss you.
We are so sad today, remembering how we didn't know the depth of your pain and desolation...
You were so beloved, and continue to live in our hearts.
We celebrate you,
with Aric special coffees (what a jolt of caffeine, whew!)
and your music,
and with yellow flowers,
with your sweet friends, who adored you.
We remember you as we flip through photos, and search for You-tube videos of you on the internet (by the way, I came across some poety by someone with your exact name--did one of your friends post these? where is the notebook? jus'thinking that if you could send a sign or somethin' somethin' to confirm whether or not those are yours...)
Anyway, it doesn't matter.
You were a light, a joy, and so much more.
You are missed..
but we know you are free...
and that you know now, how deep and wide you were loved.
Rest well, dear nephew, rest well.

so...

I have been doing all of this training in discipleship/stewardship and becoming a church coach.I love it. It is interesting, engaging, and makes me think creatively.

Now, I am not what you would call an old fashioned evangelist, or even someone who will say, let's pray about this for God's answer. My embrace of prayer and of Christianity would be what some label progressive or liberal.

However, I do firmly believe that if the Church, and congregations feel the need to grow, feel the need to be revitalized, then the center of those endeavors is an active, communal, personal, intentional prayer life. Pray and listen. Be still...and know.

I don't know how to talk about prayerin New England churchspeak without scaring people. I mean, we pray for each other on Sundays, but the only people praying out loud--except for my youth and children, are the pastoral staff. We have a prayer circle, but it is virtual. They don't meet in real time--or have an intentional plan for what to pray for except for what is on the list from Sundays--which again, is really, really, important. I guess what I am really asking about is how does one encourage adults who aren't used to praying out loud in a circle of community members, to pray together? Am working on this........

this is why I have a blog...

so that at times I can vent when people are politically incorrect, claim it unapologetically, and it's not worth it to mention that perhaps some of the words or actions you use really are like little arrows that hit you, prick, and then bounce off.
and...perhaps, one (as in me) is a little overly sensitive.
but here it goes.

Dear You.
you have no clue, do you, that when you
use words like "stranglehold" or clutch your neck with both your hands,
or point an imaginary gun to your head
that a person who is listening to you
has to stop, catch her breath,
as she imagines her loved one
strangling himself to death by hanging on a rope,
or he almost doubles over because remembers his dearest
who blew her brains out and he was first there at the scene....

To you, to most people these are words and actions that are part of common conversation, words that are used in metaphor, in imagery, meaning really nothing real...
but there is this club that some of us belong to,
where those words
evoke an emptiness, a slash of raw pain,
because they don't evoke a metaphor,
they evoke reality.

It would be so bad, you...
if you just used those words once, in passing...
but they are phrases that are clearly part of your teaching canon.

Call me over-politically correct.
I don't care.
I think you would like to know that they hurt, but then, maybe you would think I was just being over the top.
sigh.

putzing...

I am having a hard time getting my teeth into anything right now. In other words, I think I am slacking a bit, and when I slack, I feel guilty. I should be out changing the world! I should be scheduled for the day within an inch of a minute!
I should be praying until my knees are bloody! I should be ahead of my game, or on top of my game, or at least...PLAYING my game!

But, mostly, right now, I feel quiet and still and like I am marinating on something unknown. And in the midst of that, I have putzed this morning. Cleaned the kitchen, (btw, takes forever as we are out a dishwasher. it broke. in the middle of painting said kitchen and changing all door hardware and it is all a cluttery mess...however, because of the broken dishwasher, we decided to replace both dishwasher and fridge--an unpredictable appliance in our home---but the dishwasher hasn't even been scheduled for installation, which means I will be throwing a luncheon for 10 people on Friday in the middle of chaos. Thank God for amazing Italian restaurants that make meals for 10 and are delicious!) Back to the moment.
It is grey and soggy and icy and wet snowy outside. My early morning meeting was cancelled,and my next isn't until 1:00, so I decided to work from home this morning...catching up on email and reading blogs and pondering.

Wish there were something more profound niggling at my mind and heart, something to hash out, but maybe, frankly, just having peace for awhile is something to embrace...instead of feeling guilty for! Moments of peace I think surprise us, because they rarely linger, and when peace lingers...well...it is a bit foreign and I feel like I should get busy rather than take the luxury of lingering with the peace.

my charge today: be peaceful. be at peace. amen.

p.s. while I write this in the quiet of my attic office, my skitzy Lucy cat is sitting in the window and leaping into it, everytime a bird flies by, as if she can catch it. Her tail is doing that swishy thing, and now one bird is on the sill. It is as if the bird knows she is quite safe and is happy to torment my silly Lucy. And Lucy is definitely falling for the sparrow's antics.

so, I will be at peace...and belly laugh with the Buddah.

amen.

Tuesday, today.

So,
the second half of the program year is off to a start!
everyone is back in the office...
and we are sorting dates and making sure we have pretty much every minute planned until June.
seriously, that is almost 100% true. every Sunday is planned between here and there, with just a few preaching slots to fill in...programs planned, etc.
do you all do that out there? just curious.
I am not complaining about it, though, it is just different. most congregations or insitutions I have been a part of haven't had most of the year mapped out by the August before. it's not a bad thing. not entirely all good, though, if there isn't wiggle room for the Spirit to move. I think we have enough space, though.

well, I have a few things to update before my meeting at 10:00.
just wanted to ramble for a few moments to prime the pump of my mind...

New Year Friday Five

At RGBP, Sally writes:
As we have stepped from 2008 into 2009 some of us look back with joy and others with saddness; probably most of us with a mixture of the two.

As we look back we may come to understand how God has worked in and through us in joy and saddness. how we have grown against what may seem impossible odds. As we look forward we may do so with expectation, and we may do so with fear and trembling. As we look back and forward in New Years liminality I offer you this simple yet I hope profound Friday Fivein two parts:

First list five things that you remember/ treasure from 2008

1. I cherish my B. I treasure the ways in which B and I have deepened in our marriage. By far my best friend and heart of my heart and love of my love.

2. The suicide of my nephew in January. I remember those days with razor sharp clarity. I don't treasure the experience, but what I do treasure is the resiliency of my sister (his mother) and all the ways in which she has walked through this fire and pain and grief of this year without being burned to ashes. Her grace and honest way of living in this has been...I am so grateful. I also treasure the way in which my family really became family in so many more ways than we ever have. So, I treasure that too.

3. I treasure the arrival of our sweetie Fenway,an adult chocolate lab mix, who picked us last spring to be her people. (Why would she do that? There is a lot of competition for attention in our animal farm household. In any case, I am glad she did!) I also celebrate all of the goofy dogs and cats that we love and care for. Never a dull moment.

4. New colleagues. I am coming up on three years in being in New England, and two years in my congregration. Making collegial friends, finding support, working together--it all takes time. I feel like I am finally in a network of folks that I can trust, laugh with, synergize with...and of course, I just love RevGals. I talk about this community all the time. Thank you for creating this community!

5. I treasure the memory of B's mom, who died this summer. She suffered from alzheimer's. I was honored to lead the memorial service, and to write her remembrances/eulogy with input from all of her children. People laughed and cried, and all I have to say, she was definitely something else.

6. I treasure so many more memories, but I will stop at six. I will have to say I treasure the people in my congregation with whom I have the privilege being in ministry with. Right now, I am picturing all of them in my mind's eye. Thanks be to God for them.

Then list five things that you are looking forward to in 2009:

1. I look forward to deepening my creativity and skills with clay. Ah! I just love it.

2. The BE2!

3. The mystery of the journey--where will it wind to next?

4. Learning more. About everything, but expanding professionally.

5. This should be number one, but growing deeper in my relationship with God. I am interesting in connecting with Shalem, or something like that. There is a spirituality center locally called Ruah, and they have some contemplative practise offerings that are intriguing...

Sally also left this gorgeous New Year Blessing from the Iona Community:

We stand to face the future:
God behind us in the past
Christ before us; the way ahead;
Christ beside us in this moment;
Christ beneath us in our weakness;
Christ above to shield us-
beneath the shadow of his wings we are safe;
Christ between us to bind us in the unity of his love;
Christ in us equipping us with his all sufficient grace.
Thus armed and guided, and protected we face the new year.
Now we arise and go forth on the journey before us,
knowing that, where Christ leads, life is a journey home.
Therefore we travel in faith, in hope, and in love,
in the name of the Father/ Mother, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.
May the blessing of God
be upon us
all this year
and into eternity. Amen.

brrrrrrr

January 1, 2009.

Wow.
2009! Crazy.

Today...
1. is bitter and cold, beautiful and bright
(can you tell I grew up with farmer parents? I always report the weather!)

2. I am so grateful for the snowplower who plowed our street, because he/she actually did a careful job, making sure that there wasn't a five foot berm in front of my driveway.

3. In spite of being pleased with my Wovel, I am enormously thankful for the two of neighbors, next door and across the street, who are young and happy with their snowblowers, and feel like they should plow our sidewalk because we are middle aged old ladies. No, they don't say that, but can't you see them thinking that? I am grateful for their parents who raised such considerate men ;-)

4. I am waiting for the coffee to brew, and then I am going to get back into bed and read and ponder Sunday's sermon. And then write it. I want to go cross country skiing on Saturday.

5. 2008 was a year for us, like for many, full of dramatic contrasts. The world news and economics paints everyone's personal lives in so many different ways. So, there is that. Then, my nephew died from suicide. B's mother died. There was lots going on at work, stress. And then, so many things to be grateful.
I would say that 2008 was full, full of the work and joy of life and living.

6. May peace be real, and hope a way of life in 2009.

Amen.

Tuesday. AGain!

So, it's Tuesday and I swung by the office to check in...although no one is really around, since the office is cold. Sorted some mail, made some calls, looking out at a windy but bright New England December day. Tomorrow we are supposed to get more snow...so I need to get that durn Wovel put together. I just don't have the right tools...I need a ratchet, which in my meager and sundry collection of tools, I do not happen to have.

I was hoping to make a couple of pastoral calls, but that looks like they will happen on Friday. That's o.k.

On NPR this morning, I was listening to an interview with Juno Diaz and he said this:
The work of the artist is to strive to undermine her/his previous work.

I find that so interesting, but I get it. You want to push, pull, stretch, engage even deeper with each artistic endeavor. I find this so true in clay...whether I am making the same thing over and over, I still want to tweak it, get into more, try something a little different.....

Just a random thought for the day.

huh.

you know when you have a Sunday where you do pretty much everything right,
but it all felt flat?
yep.
that could sum up today for me.
the liminal space felt like a huge chasm.
yes, it was a low attendance Sunday, so some of the community energy wasn't there.
the best part was coffee hour, getting to chat with some people I don't usually get to connect with.
oh well.
this happens.
and in spite of me, it was still worship,
and God was with indeed with us. I know this, because God shows up, even when we don't feel God.
Amen.

saturday procrastination.

yes. so I got up early to write my sermon, and now, a couple of hours later I realize that I haven't done a thing but catch up on my blogreading. well, maybe that is my prep for writing...
now I will head downstairs for another cup of tea, let the cat in, and get started. and finished. yes, I will finish before noon. yes, I will, yes I will, I will, I will....
because I promised these girls a long walk this afternoon, and they are WAITING....


Wiggy


Daisy


Venus las Vegas


Fenway

procrastination

I should really be writing my sermon.
but I am just putzing about.
That's about all I have to say!

lefse--or norwegian burritos?

Lefse is a norwegian potato bread that sort of looks like a soft tortilla. You spread butter on it and brown sugar and roll it up and eat it. My mother has made this every christmas every year of my life and beyond--and she has probably eaten it every holiday season of her life. So, I thought it time for me to start learning. It requires all sorts of special baking items like a pastry board, lefse stick, lefse griddle, rolling pin with a stocking. I have never really been a pastry maker.

A good lefse is very thin, and round.

As you can see from the pictures, uhhhh, well, my first try wasn't exactly round or thin....



Lefse balls



Pastry board and rolling pin, without its little sock.



The griddle and lefse turning stick, ready for action!



Final six. Then the electrical element died. Now, what I am going to do with all those left over balls of dough?

christmas eve day!

this is one of my most favorite days of the year. growing up, my family would go to the drugstore to eat cheeseburgers and fries and cokes at noon. we are going to do this today--b and I--in harvard square. (veggie cheeseburger, for me though).

I got up early and went to the grocery, and got all kinds of stuff to make for tomorrow. I am even going to try Songbird's Crash Hot Potatos, since no one volunteered for mashed potatoes (which I can take or leave) but I feel certain will miss the good old potatoe if there aren't any. Don't you just love the name of them? "Crash Hot Potato"? It is fun to say out loud.

so, now I need to get on the stick and write my pastoral prayer (unless someone wants to share theirs) and the welcome for tonight, and practise my story a little more.

last night I tried to make lefse. I will write more about that later, but imagine my dissappointment when my brand new lefse grill (gift from dad, stepmom, and twin sister) had a bummer of an electrical element. I made about six, and then had to just quit--since the griddle quit itself.

prayers for beautiful and deep and surprising worship this evening for all congregations...everywhere.
amen.

tuesday.

The snow is pretty today. It is still cold, but brilliant with sun. Hard to believe that all of this will melt (well most of it) in the next few days.

This is a funny thing about Boston. If people dig their cars out on the street, they are allowed to put cones or folding chairs to mark their "spot" while not parked in it, for at least 48 hours, sometimes more. It is your...reward, I guess, for doing all the work. So, when you drive around the streets, if you see cones in parking places, you better NOT move them and park your car there. It is grounds for getting slashed tires! Thank goodness we have a driveway!

Not much going on here at the office this morning. I am piddling, you could say. I need to write my sermon for Sunday...so I could get a start on that. If I can get it sketched out, I am going to reward myself with a manicure. ( I actually have a gift certificate with money remaining on it.) My new favorite color is OPI's "We'll Always Have Paris". I ought to tidy things up a bit, too.

I feel like I am in a good space. It feels a little empty, but that is good. Maybe I am making room in my inner inn to be ready for the wild blessing of Christ-mas.

Open me, even more.
Help me be receptive to where and how the journey unfolds...
in these moments, in this day, in this week...
Amen

monday morning wanderings

It is cold and windy here in Boston. (not as cold as North Dakota, though)
I spent the good part of the weekend, among other things, shoveling 15 inches of snow. Am really looking forward to getting my wovel...or a snowblower. There are no snowblowers to be had, though.

The Christmas Pageant yesterday was great. We even had a real baby Jesus who could not have been more precious! The only thing that wasn't covered is that there was no one assigned to put away costumes. Needless to say, there was a mess. I just stashed everything in the CE Resource room, and will ask those in charge of the Pageant to deal with it. Afterwards, we had a pizza party with decorating cookies and Yankee Exchange with the Youth.

When the holidays come, my grief in not having children is heightened. This year is no exception. It is always a source of suprise that I never have had a baby. B and I consciously decided not to, but still, there is that part of me that lingers in some regret. It's o.k., we talk about it, and B is always wonderful to listen to my grief without taking it personally. Or, if so, we talk about that. Anyway, I would have been a wonderful mom. I know that. Literally, all of my friends have families. I love their children. I love all the children and babies and young people I get to work with...and my adopted nieces and nephews...and my two nephews are precious to me. I just find it curious that the unfolding of my journey hasn't included being a mommy. Just mulling on that today. A little, anyway. sigh.

So. On another note, I spent some time in my studio this morning, and am headed back down there, shortly. I working with some terra cotta clay today, doing some experimentation with carving and glazes. As soon as I finish up some stuff, I will post the pictures. The photo above is scraffito through yellow slip on brown stoneware--the picture is taken before it had been bisqued.

Peace to you on this cold and windy winter day.

Friday Five Five Things Before Christmas edition

This is what I hope Santa will bring me for Christmas. It is a "wovel"

Songbird made Friday Five quite easy today.
Five things you need to get done before Christmas.

hmm. I was just thinking of the five things I need to do in the next hour! But let me think more expansively...

1. Order and pick up pasta dishes at Comella's for beloved's staff party she is hosting on Monday. Also, go to Trader Joe's and get easy appetizers, clean house, make dessert, decorate house, get stuff like wine, soda, teas, etc. You get it.

2. Learn the story I will tell on Christmas Eve.

3. Restock pantry for guests coming on Christmas Day (just two)

4. Enjoy the snow storm that is a'coming

5. I am sure there is more, but strangely, the bulletins are all finished for the 28th and the 4th of January, sermon titles/topic in the hopper, and frankly, I am not really stressed. At all.

what? rick warren?

I have to say, I am dissapointed in Obama's choice for the invocation giver at the inauguration is Rick Warren, Saddleback Church in California. He is rabidly anti-gay. I think if the administration wanted to reach across the aisle, which I am totally for, I think a less radical evangelical would have been nice.
Actually,
I think what would have been wonderful for the Change agenda would have been to include a rabbi, priest, imam, and pastor...and some of them WOMEN.

hmm. my word verication is "phinc" which sounds like "fink"

spooky sighting!

so, we have had a feral kitten living in our basement for the past three months. long story on how she got there. we feed her everynight, and she eats all her food, drinks water, and uses the litter box.
however, we have never seen her since the first day we took her in, when she escaped from her kennel. I named her Spooky.
but finally, last night,
we were able to trap her.
I am so relieved she hasn't turned into a one-eyed ghosty light depraved monster. She just is scared, wild, and fierce.
And a cute calico kitty.

Not sure what we will do with her now.

I am just glad to see her.

exhausted!

Petsmart Howl-i-days

(photo from http://www.ohmidog.com/tag/santa-claus/, but could have been from Saturday, December 13, at PetSmart!)

so Saturday, Beloved and I volunteered for Kitty Connection by taking photos with Santa at PetSmart. This is a great gig for rescue groups--Petsmart pays for everything, you just have to supply volunteers and Santa to run the booth, which is the dogtraining area in PetSmart. For that, PetSmart charges the customer $10, in which they receive a digital photo in a cute (debatable) plastic frame that says Holiday 2008. $5 goes to the rescue organization. For small rescues, this is great--much better than having a yard sale.

Well, wow. People and pets and photo shoots--HILARIOUS! PICKY! WEIRD! FABULOUS!
Some people thought we were professional animal handlers or professional photographers. hah!

I was going to be Santa, but we were there a little late, so someone else suited up.
Beloved was the amazingly patient and cheerful photographer, sometimes taking 20 photos for people who thought their little doggie or kitty should be smiling, or posing perfectly. Only one couple decided they didn't like any of the pictures. Please. Just buy one for the spirit of giving!

Anyway, we were exhausted after five hours of doing this, but truly it was fun. I loved meeting all of the dogs and cats--animals are extremely forgiving of their nutty owners (including yours truly). They were patient as we called to them, cajoled them to sitting close to our somewhat glum Santa, happy when we fed them treats, and just generally wonderfully spirited as they wagged tails and stretched out for ear scritches and belly rubs.

I highly recommend the experience!

Over at RGBP,
Sophia writes:
This Friday Five is inspired by my husband's Lasik surgery yesterday....He'd been contemplating it for a while and was pushed over the edge by the fact that we put too much money in our healthcare spending account this year and it would have been gone anyway. (There was only enough for one eye, but the kind people at the eye clinic figured out a way to divvy up the charges between surgery and followup in January=next year's spending account). So please say a little prayer for his safe recovery and share with us your thoughts on eyes and vision.

1. What color are your beautiful eyes? Did you inherit them from or pass them on to anyone in your family?
My eyes are blue. Norwegian blue. Got'em from the family heritage.

2. What color eyes would you choose if you could change them?
Big dark brown eyes with little hazel flecks. (a girl can dream, right?)

3. Do you wear glasses or contacts? What kind? Like 'em or hate 'em?
I used to wear both. Contacts usually irritated my eyes, and I liked glasses, but had such coke-bottles that when I didn't have glasses on, I could see nothing. My first pair were in 4th grade. Now I wear reading glasses. But that is the bonus of being 45, right?


4. Ever had or contemplated laser surgery? Were you happy with the results?
Yes, yes, and yes. However, I have to say, I had to have it twice--a follow-up correction. The first time was cool, the second time I was a little nervous. But oh, oh, oh, how wonderful to SEE!!!!
5. Do you like to look people in the eye, or are you more eye-shy? Definitely look people in the eye. Eyes are the window to the soul, right?

Bonus question: Share a poem, song, or prayer that relates to eyes and seeing.

"No object is mysterious--the mystery is your eye" --Elizabeth Bowen

"I shut my eyes in order to see" --Paul Ganguin

Tikky

hard to believe she is 11 years old.
hard to believe at just ounces over 5 pounds she can take on a doberman, if needed!
hard to believe that she is as sweet as she is saucy!

notes to self

*it's easy to feel blue when planning a blue christmas service.

*i like Mindy Smith's My Holiday CD

*sitting down to carve a very large ceramic platter covered in blue slip takes a lot more time and intention that I planned on.

*i LOVE carving pottery. it's about the third most popular thought in my head.

*it is rainy and cold. it is 2:27 pm. i am in my office. i forgot my bag so i don't have my list and books and stuff that i need.

*there is still plenty to do.

*why isn't there a naptime for adults? the preschool across the hall always has naptime. not fair.

*i am not feeling particularly inspired or motivated.

*advent/christmas makes me sad, thoughtful, hopeful, quiet.

*i wish we could be with my family of origin for just a couple of days. this christmas will be so hard on all of them, missing aric's joy.

* the titles of books on my desk are earthprayers, growing together, bread for the journey, the green bible, sacred journeys, in wisdom's path, guerillas of grace, imaging the word. isn't that a delicious combination?

*last year, a little girl in my congregation gave me a christmas card. it is on my bulletin board. it says, "pastor karla, i hope you are looking stunning. happy holidays! love, f." that must mean that sometimes i must look stunning. ;-) i hope in a good way.

*the sooner i finish my edits on sermons, the sooner i can go home.

*i am so glad i exercised already.

silent night.

this weekend was very full...christmas caroling on Saturday afternoon,then on to Sunday. Packed with the beginning of a new church school term, getting new teachers settled, worship, with advent candles, reception of new members, communion, then an adult forum afterwards,after that a youth holiday show at another nursing home, then back to church for a community crafts and carols event.
whew!
a lot of EXTROVERT energy pouring out from me. so today, I am a little left over, but in a full way.

what struck me, amidst many other things that were meaningful, was the singing of silent night in all of these venues.
first, in a small dark living room, with a housebound elder and her adult daughter who lives in a group home with other developmentally disabled adults...her daughter brought the aides and her friends from her home...and we sang a gajillion christmas carols...and when we got to silent night, it was so moving to witness the young family that was with the group of carolers....a couple with 4 children, 7years to 3 months...singing with wide eyes and rosy cheeks with this room of elders and other adults. Baby girl was sleeping, indeed, in heavenly peace...
and then,
at the next nursing home, with gangly teenagers, all self conscious and proud, singing with a large room of elders all in wheelchairs, and in various stages of chronic illness or aging...stumbling through three verses of silent night....where elders had tears in their eyes, and the teens, not really having a clue what an impact their presence was in that room...such a deep expression of what advent hope is...
and then, later in the day, singing silent night again, with 30 children and parents sitting in folding chairs, all trying to match the high key of the piano accompaniment, sweet high little voices, warbling in earnest...
ahh,
this is what glories streaming from heaven afar means.
gloriest stream, and heaven sings,
alleluia.
alleluia.
alleluia.

hope

yesterday,
in worship,
my colleague described Moltmann's idea of hope as a restless waiting.
indeed, this fits my heart these days...
Moltmann also describes hope as a "passion for the possible"...
and I can resonate with this.
so much more is possible...
and yet, the time isn't now...
it is a balanced pull between present in the restlessness, and still having passion for what is possible.
in this threshold, liminal place I am, I pray for gentleness and mercy and grace.
amen.

Thanks to Peace Bang for this....

PeaceBang has this on her website,and I just had to share it...

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

dark at 4:30 and wandering....

The hardest adjustment I have had to make living in New England is the darkness of December. It's 4:30 pm and night has fallen all around me...and I still have meetings to go to, and if it is before 5:00 pm, shouldn't it at least stay light for rush hour traffic?
I want to curl up on the sofa and read a book, sip tea, and fall asleep.
Lucky my office only has a church pew from the 1800's and you know, people were smaller back then.
I know that for Advent, it is fitting for it to be so dark...we wait in darkness...we look for the light..we hope for the light...
we just hope...
sometimes just to endure the darkness.
Morning always comes.

I am very aware of the shroud of shadows today. I am restless...I am not feeling very challenged (NOT PRAYIN' FOR CHALLENGE, THOUGH. That's like praying for patience.) o.k.--I am not feeling creatively challenged right now...and that creates restlessness. I remember when I was a chaplain in an institution that was incredibly so much more conservative than me--not theologically (although many were)institutionally. Tradition above all else was to be kept, in spite of the fact that it held the institution back. Anyway, I felt like I had to fold up my wings and pin them inside my back...and because I didn't feel like I could fly sometimes, it really affected my groundedness. In fact, the balance was so off, I was simply stuck.

My wings now, are not necessarily folded up...I wouldn't say that at all. But I don't think I am flying creatively as much, either. Hence the shroud of shadows. I need a flight plan that will keep me rooted and free at the same time.

That's where I am wandering in the darkness today.