Thursday, August 03, 2006

today.

Today, and yesterday, and the day before,
I trolled every corner of the web for any possibility of a job in which I have remote transferable skills. I have to say, if any one is looking for a job in this area, I would be a good contact because I pretty much have a working knowledge of all the openings at area colleges/universities, non-profit organizations, and schools, both independent and public. I write a pretty mean cover letter, too...but I realize that for me, I am competing in an amazingly competitive market on paper, anyway. If I could just get an interview, then....I think I might do all right.

I also am trying to ready the basement for my own studio. It is a mess down there! The floor is as old as the house and never been treated (so, let's see, it is 96 years old. goodness. ) I am not going to waste alot of effort...I am going to slap some paint on the floor, on the walls to brighten it up, put a clay trap on the sink, and start throwing. I have a class that starts in September...I wish I could take two, but until I get a job, I need to be happy with one, since it is EXPENSIVE here.

In the basement, there was a place in the cement that had been worn thru to the ground. I don't know if that is bad or not, but I decided to spackle it with some ready made cement. It occurred to me that I didn't really know what I was doing, but I just needed to jump in. It doesn't look great, and I think I need another "coat." But at least I am doing it, you know? If I waited to learn every detail, I still wouldn't know what I was doing til I did it, and I can't wait for the money for a pro to come and do it...and it seems to me much of life is like this. We just....do the best we can, in spite of not really knowing what we are doing. There is no secret handbook to life...except that we just need to live it...mistakes and all, misgivings and all, hopes and dreams and dissappointments and all.....

Friday, July 28, 2006

liminal space


It's funny how life keeps turning, turning, re-turning to explore the same ways to grow. For me, a continual life learning is how to fully be in the threshold, in liminal space, in transition...both on the inside and on the outside. This originally started as a blog about clay...and I know that I will get back to that. But...in January, I started a low residency doctoral program in pastoral counseling, which frankly, I didn't enjoy much, but it was a means to an end. I also audited my pottery class, which still took me to the studio a gajillion miles away, (o.k., 130 miles, round trip) a few times a week, but I couldn't keep up with the work...because I was writing papers for my classes. In any case....my dear love got a great new position, and ....now we find ourselves living in the NORTHEAST! I have left my congregation, left my studio, and a month into this move, I have made a gajillion contacts (o.k., a lot, because it certainly isn't 130!) and sent out numerous resumes. I dropped the doctoral program (there are some I can get into closer to home) and now I wait. I wait for interviews, phone calls, rejects, anything. This is really hard. To just get up in the morning, search for work, (oh, there are NO opportunities in my denomination at this point in time for congregational work) and do a few errands....I know every aisle in Target and Home Depot....I walk the dogs, watch AMC (yeah, the soap)....

I know that there is meaning in this move, and that a fabulous opportunity is yet to discover me, and I it... I know that the ONE who created all of this mess that is me will nudge me towards it..I need to remember how to listen.... In the midst of all this noisy waiting silence, I have to learn to listen.

And how great to be in a BLUE state....ahhh.

And pots, well, I long to get back to that...next week I start a class at my new studio, which is barely a shadow of what we had in NC, but hey, it will have to do. so there. just the inbetween time is hard.

So...I pray. And wait. And try to hear what I am listening for.