Saturday, September 27, 2008

sad. conflicted.


so my sweetie ni-ni (short for Venus) is sick.
but the biopsy is not clearly indicating carcinoma.
it isn't clearly indicating the tumor on her liver is benign.
instead, it indicates that something is wrong, but it could be anything from diabetes to hepatitis to pancreatic cancer or worse.
so. what to do?
if she had cancer, we wouldn't do surgery, because at 13 years, we believe palliative care would be best, especially because the doctor says that if it were carcinomic(is that a word?) they couldn't guarantee the surgery would get everything.

but now, this thing could be benign. the only thing holding us back from surgery is our fear of anasthesia (sp?) on older beings. Venus is 13...and healthy. We know that older people under anasthesia run the risk of "never being the same" afterwards. This was true for my beloved's mother...and for my grandmother, I think.

we think we are going to wait and do another ultrasound in a month. if things have changed, then we may have a better idea that it is cancer. if things haven't changed, we might do the surgery.

but now I am thinking...maybe we should schedule the surgery and take the chance.

she is so happy and lively and sweet and good and dear...we just want her to have the best life ever.

sigh.

1 comment:

"PS" (a.k.a. purple) said...

I am so sorry. It does sound like you took her to a top-notch facility with enough specialists to cover all the bases. From my time in veterinary medicine, I do know that many "other" things affect the liver and sometimes a primary diagnosis is difficult. I think you choice is a good one. There is alot to be said for a happy and lively life.

On a different note, I left a note for you in the comments on my post on death...but thought with all going on I would leave it here also. Absolutely you may share that post.