my brain, part two..this was my strong second choice

Your Brain's Pattern

Your mind is a creative hotbed of artistic talent. You're always making pictures in your mind, especially when you're bored. You are easily inspired to think colorful, interesting thoughts. And although it may be hard to express these thoughts, it won't always be.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

(you had to choose the one you were most drawn to..the red/orange one caught my eye immediately, so first choice...but this one I really, really, really liked....

my brain, compliments of

Your Brain's Pattern

Your mind is a firestorm - full of intensity and drama. Your thoughts may seem scattered to you most of the time... But they often seem strong and passionate to those around you. You are a natural influencer. The thoughts you share are very powerful and persuading.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

Processing Counselor, a new member of revgalblogpals had these fun brain pattern quizzes on her blog. Thanks!

babies, babies, babies, oh baby!

The past few weeks, my mind and heart have been obsessed with babies. I see pregnant women everywhere. Parenting and children are the center of storyline and plots of the books and magazines I have been reading. Baby, baby, baby, oh baby! I got babies on my mind. However, I have consciously made a decision to NOT have children, for multiple reasons, one being that I am a month shy of 44, and even if I did have a baby, through adoption or by giving birth, I would be of retirement age when s/he was in college. Not for me, perhaps for some.

My partner and I decided that if we had met ten years ago, things would be different. But in the five years we have been together, it is only in very recent history that we could even realistically ponder the question. Frankly,it just seems too late to even try (my partner is six years longer down the journey of life than I am). In spite of all the clarity, and feeling good about our decision, it is still hard for me. Especially in my perimenopausal state of mind.

I honestly never really thought that I wouldn't have a baby...or that I would choose NOT to have a child...come to think of it, I have never even conceived through, oh, say, an accident.
I often wonder what it would feel like to be pregnant...to actually give birth...and what my little girl or boy might have looked like. I am a TLC Baby Story nut. I cry every time a loving couple gives birth.

I love birth.

The truth is I love babies...and I love children. I am blessed to be in ministry with children and families, and to have many friends with delightful children in whom I celebrate and cherish.

The truth is, I could really be an awful parent...I can be pretty self-absorbed.

The truth is, having a child has not been a priority for me, and I certainly have a full life without children.

The truth is, it is the right decision for us.

The truth is, I still wonder if....

The truth is, it makes me a little sad sometimes...missing out on being a mom, missing out on that part of life....with all its challenges, heartaches, frustrations, and wonderments.

I think I need a ritual...to connect my mind and heart and body to the reality of the good and wise decision of my spouse and I. To simply be able to let go any residual longings I have...to let go of my baby thoughts, and channel that loving energy somewhere else.

So...what about this? Am I alone in my mid-life crisis, non-motherhood status? What do other people do, when they find themselves where I find myself today?

Green Friday Five

RevGals are pondering global warming, extreme weather patterns, and wondering where/what/how the prophetic voice of faith fits in all of it. Here is the Friday Five, living lightly, faithfully, and greenly in our Creation home.

1. Have you experienced living through an extreme weather event- what was it and how did you cope? Although I lived in coastal states for almost twenty years, I can't say I experienced a terrifying extreme weather event. That being said, there was an ice storm that pretty much knocked out power in a major metropolitan area for almost a week near Christmas. I just packed up my dogs and stayed with a friend. Another freaky thing was a snowstorm that turned to complete ice, and someone from my congregation asked me to see if I could get to the school where several of children of the congregation were, because parents couldn't get there. I had no idea the level of iciness, and having grown up in upper midwest, figured this would be no problem at all....until I turned out of the driveway and slid a full length of block down the street. I called them back and said it wasn't safe, AT ALL. It took my beloved six hours to get home from a normal 30 minute commute--it was nuts.


2. How important is it that we wake up to issues such as global warming? I don't even consider global warming an issue--it is a fact. In fact, I heard Rabbi Arthur Waskow call it global scorching. It is up to us to do whatever we can, politically and personally to contribute to stopping, or slowing its effects. It is a sin to hand this on to our children.

3. The Christian message needs to include stewardship of the earths resources agree/ disagree? Agree! Isn't that one of the instructions God gives in the garden of Eden? To be stewards of all that is created?


And because it is summer- on a brighter note....



4. What is your favourite season and why? Fall, fall, fall fall.....it used to be spring when I lived in the south; but New England springs not so...abundant? But fall--oh my, apple picking and beautiful trees turning glorious shades from holding all that light and crisp evening walks with shorts and sweaters....I just love it.



5. Describe your perfect vacation weather....It's funny, but I like a mix of weather. A little bit of rain slows one down, to snuggle in and read all day, and the sunny weather pulls you out to hike. (Most of my vacations center around where we can be outside...and hike!)

a Sunday prayer....

for being open
to letting go...
and allowing You,
sweet breeze of Spirit
to infuse
to restore
to renew
my heart, body, soul, and mind.
Amen.

Personality Quiz, Harry Potter Style

PeaceBang had this quiz over on her site and so I took it. I thought all the Harry Potter RevGirl's would like it, especially when they emerge from the reading of The Last Book. I can't get the width right on the screen, but I scored Hermione Granger, hands over hands!

You scored as Hermione Granger, You're one intelligent witch, but you have a hard time believing it and require constant reassurance. You are a very supportive friend who would do anything and everything to help her friends out. Hermione Granger 80% Albus Dumbledore 70% Draco Malfoy 65% Ron Weasley 65% Remus Lupin 55% Sirius Black 50% Harry Potter 40% Severus Snape 30% Lord Voldemort 25% Ginny Weasley 25% Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...? created with QuizFarm.com

Friday Five...for RGBP

1. Share a moment/ time of real encouragement in your journey of faith Encouragement comes to me in connections with people....and it seems that even just this week, there have been several moments of real, honest connections in the most random places--a restaurant, the pottery studio, and a note from a friend.

2. Do you have a current vision / dream for your work/ family/ministry? yup. Rainbows of dreams. In my current position, I simply want to be faithful to the work set before me, and help my congregation grow in vibrant and healthy ways. Personally, I want to do an advanced degree in clay, pastoral care, and spiritual practise. I dream of being a pet chaplain. In my family, we are not dreaming but working hard on living more healthy.

3.Money is no object and so you will.....
Just play in clay a little more, and travel a little more, but I would still be in ministry, No question.

4. How do you see your way through the disappointments? What keeps you going? Breathing. stopping. And talking with my beloved.

5. How important are your roots? Are you talking hair?
My spiritual and cultural roots anchor me, help ground me in who I am. Pretty important, especially as I wade into the perimenopausal phase of my precious life.

6. Bonus= what would you like to add I am going to go to Cleveland next week to see the Sox play Cleveland. I CAN'T WAIT!!!

Terra Cotta carved bowl

 

 

 

 

This is a bowl from the spring. I shaped it over a form, and then carved it. It is my first hand-built bowl. It was really hard for me to do, because throwing is so much faster, and in carving/handbuilding, you have to think about so many different things, and it never gets the balanced, centered look of a thrown pot. Which is fine, of course. I learned from this bowl that when carving/decorating, you have to keep looking at it from different angles, and especially the angle from which it will eventually rest. You can tell I carved this upside down, and forgot to flip it back and forth. The funky flowers are more easily viewed upside down! The low fire glazes are painted on...and because they are low fire, they can be bright. I like the turquoise and the blues; the dark background of the bowl I am not thrilled with, but in all, it was an interesting process for me.

bowl

 

 

 

This is a bowl I made earlier this summer, and it is the first time I have used the hi-fire reduction glazes in this studio. It is granny smith over a matte white, which you can see made the whole bowl sort of a greeny yellow. My camera isn't good enough to catch the streaks, but I am pleased with the shape, weight, volume of the bowl, and the look of the yummy reduction glazes. There is more depth to them rather than in a regular electric kiln. I haven't had much time for this class I am in now, but everytime I go, I sink back into the clay. I really need to do a better job of focusing on my style (and getting the focus right on the camera!) and taking the time to create. It is such healing, restoring, nurturing, growing, spiritual work for me, my hands deep in clay...

Releasing the Imagination

Releasing the Imagination is a book on my shelf. In it is a set of essays written about education, the arts, and social change by the renowned professor of philosophy and education Maxine Greene (Teachers College at Columbia U). It is a wonderful, inspiring read, if you are into educational philosophy and changing the world. It is also one of my favorite books just to glance at on my shelf...the jacket is muted reds/oranges/warm toasty yellows with a spot of blue for contrast. The title reminds me to "release" and "imagine"
Release my imagination.
Wonder about the possibility.
Embrace the hidden potential.
Dare, be bold, live big
but in a giving over, releasing, relaxed kind of way.
I have an image of releasing like a fountain and then just watching where the drops of water might fall...
watching their random patterns,
seeing the natural beauty.

It seems these days, it is hard for me to release anything at all. I breathe, I walk, I try to focus, and then get caught up in minutia (sp?)...then I breathe , I sing, I walk some more.
Breathe
Walk
Release
Imagine (just gently imagine...)
O Holy Spirit,
Breathing in, I breathe in awareness of the moment
Breathing out, I release that which I need to let go
Breathing in awareness,
Breathing out release...
in the in between, I pray for your help and guidance and trust....
Breathing awareness
Release...
Awareness,
Release,
Imagine.
amen

Random Friday Five

Since I am NOT up on the Harry Potter crazy, although I have read all the books, and will read the last, I read the last one the summer it came out and my middle age mind just doesn't seem to retain any magical reading details. So, random is the way for me today!

1. Former U.S. First Lady "Lady Bird" Johnson died this week. In honor of her love of the land and the environment, share your favorite flower or wildflower.
The Wild Prairie Rose, North Dakota's State Flower

2. A man flew almost 200 miles in a lawn chair, held aloft by helium balloons. Share something zany you'd like to try someday.
It's not zany, but I would love to go to outerspace and fly around in a little space car like George Jetson had.

3. Do you have an iPhone? If not, would you want one?
Nope, don't have one. Yes, definitely on my wish list. Hoping they go to Verizon, since my contract with them is about 100 years.

4. Speaking of which, Blendtec Blenders put an iPhone in one of their super-duper blenders as part of their "Will It Blend?" series. What would YOU like to see ground up, whizzed up or otherwise pulverized in a blender?
hmmm. Rude Boston drivers? Plastic Santa yard ornaments?

5.According to News of the Weird, a jury in Weld County, Colo., declined to hold Kathleen Ensz accountable for leaving a flier containing her dog's droppings on the doorstep of U.S. Rep. Marilyn Musgrave, apparently agreeing with Ensz that she was merely exercising free speech. What do you think? Is doggy doo-doo protected by the First Amendment?
I think using a human using doggy doody to express herself is showing that she lacks decent vocabulary of her own and clearly bad manners. Venus, Daisy, and Wiggs agree.

hiking mt. percival!

Hiking in New England is soooooo different than anywhere I have hiked. The trails are much more steep, rocky, and you have to be good at scrambling over boulders. However, the reward is great once you get to the top! Yahoo!

cats, cats, and more cats

Some of the cats at my house were a little ticked off when they realized their pictures weren't posted yet on the blog.

Cali loves her bling, especially pearls. Lucy... and Barley(pictured twice in a row
because he is so cute and perhaps sort of because I can't figure out how to delete one)are a little camera shy...or maybe just sleepy lazy bones...hmmm....whoops!!!
these last two aren't cats! They Are Very Important Imperial Poodles!
Shhh, don't wake them...they bark like crazy at the wind!!

Ultimate Procrastination! Friday Five!

In honor of doing NOT what I should be, but that what I WANT, I am going to play the RevGalBlogPals Friday Five special!

So, today, I am...
1. Wearing...office clothes~~my favorite chico's traveler's gauchos, tank, and floaty asian silk jacket. Feels like jammies, but looks unbelievably professional and I will be ready for dinner out after work!

2. Reading...blogs about church, ministry, lectionary texts and a pottery magazine.

3. Eating...very healthy. Spinach salad with mandarin oranges, cucumbers, raw peas, and a few slivered almonds; roasted spaghetti squash; and red and yellow peppers for munchies in the afternoon.

4. Doing...lots of writing. Earlier, however, I got to walk my dog Venus along the Mystic River where we saw lots of squirrels, rabbits, her friend Finnegan...we listened to the birdsong in the breeze and enjoyed the fragrance of whatever the wildflowers are now that are blooming. Ahhhhh.

5. Pondering...sermon for Sunday, memorial for next week; and the front page news of the Boston Globe. The lead story was about a three year old girl abused (allegedly, I guess one has to say) by her mother's live in boyfriend. He hit her with a belt and bit her repeatedly, so that her hearing is impaired and she has had multiple surgeries and plastic surgeries to repair her ear and lips. The quote from the little girl is "He bited me and hit me. He broke my lip." WTF?? What kind of mother covers up for a LIVE IN BOYFRIEND that way? I know, I know, people are messed up, but the guy was BITING the child? Where was DSS, you ask? They believed the mom's stories--in spite of several professionals (e.g. doctors) saying they were suspicious of abuse. I know their hands are tied and everybody probably did their best to the ability/extent of the law that was allowed, to do everything they could to protect this little girl, but how could this have happened? It is embarrassing and a travesty. When animals bite humans, in some areas, the animal will be humanely euthanized, because it poses a threat to others. What do we do with biting humans?