in a no word state of mind....

This past month has been very, very good. After returning from Israel, I have gotten into a groove where I am getting a lot done at work (could get more done, I realize, but hey, it is July)...have been enjoying walking the doggies religiously every morning before I do my other morning routines of house straightening, kitchen cleaning, I have been exercising--and feeling good. Shout out to Cheesehead who blogged about being Shredded a while ago, and I found the 30 Day Shred Workout by Jillian Michaels on On Demand....and that has made me strong enough to actually jog a tiny more than 3 miles everyother day. I think, too, I might be losing a little weight!

But that isn't what I sat down to write. What I sat down to write about is the fact that lately, when I have sat down to blog, I find I am in a "no word" state of mind. It is easy for me to pop something whimsical on the page...and whimsy is good. I believe in whimsy.

But I also believe in words, in Word, in digging and wandering about in my heart and thoughts to wonder, in words, out loud. Or, I mean, out blog. Blog out loud? Write. But the words, the subject, the wonderings are not there...I worry about being shallow. O.k., I don't worry about being shallow. I don't want to be shallow, but I guess if I wonder if I am shallow, than I am really not, because I am at least deep enough to understand what shallow is.
Good grief. Now I am sounding like Paul. "That which I would not, That do I do, I wish I wouldn't do it, but I'm already through...."
Hah! Now I just compared myself to a great New Testament author. That would be Narcissism!
Cracking myself up here.

Back to the "no word" state of mind. Perhaps it is fear, I feel, wandering in the formless void within me...maybe I don't have the courage to let Spirit hover over that formless void, to let Spirit breathe, create, and speak what is within, to help me find those words, in their time. Oh sweet One, I pray for the grace to contemplate and meditate and give myself time
in this wordless state of mind.

And, to allow whimsy to be o.k.
Amen.