tonight is one of those evenings in New England that makes worth living here in January. it is glorious, gorgeous, and humbling in its stunning beauty and grace. everything is blooming--rhodendrons, azaleas, lilacs, irises, snowflake and snowball bushes, dogwoods, star jasmines... there is a slight cool breeze, birds chirping.... it is a perfect evening to walk dogs slowly in the neighborhood with your flip flops, sweatshirt and shorts... breathing in the tasty fragrance, spying a robin with a worm flying to her nest to share with her babies, feeling a little lightheaded from the beer you shared with your beloved, your flushed cheeks, happy eyes, gorgeous sunset kissed tops of buildings... and of course, finally, one settled displaced kitty basking in the window... ahhh... it is clearly a perfect juicy moment in time... in spite of your heart with someone dear to you who is facing amputation of her entire leg, possibly pelvis, in order to enjoy more evenings like this, with her beloved, children, and two new puppies... because three months ago, and three months before that, and three months before those, and more, there was no more cancer... until last Friday.
she will be fine, she says, and she will--there is no doubt... but you hate what is ahead for her and her family, in spite of it.. but as she says, what choice? "I can keep two legs, and get my affairs in order.. or...I can have one leg, and dream and hope of a longer future with those I love" She says, "Things don't happen for a reason. This is no reason. How vindictive would that be? Sometimes there is just shit."
God's strong spirit be with you, you say to her. She says, "God is always with me. I am so blessed."
As I said, it is a glorious, gorgeous, unbelievably humbling beautiful evening in new england. And I pray for the openess to really get it.