Saturday, April 11, 2009

holy saturday....

so..
holy saturday just sort of feels like saturday.
it's the first saturday in a month that I haven't been busy with church stuff, and I can do family stuff all day.

last night, I was irreverently commenting to my colleague,
"poor Jesus...we laid him in the tomb last Sunday....dragged him back out to be crucified again on Thursday, and then again tonight (Good Friday) we hang him back there on the cross to die again. I bet he looks forward to Saturday when he can finally rest up for the big happening on Easter morning"

which is to say, I suppose,
I am ready for resurrection myself.

and...thank you Jesus, for being so patient with us.

amen.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Good Friday..or God's Friday....


or...Karla's Friday, today?

In spite of being a New England congregational-UCC church, we do observe Holy Week each evening of this week, but not as much as I was used to as a child. However, I know culture has changed, as well. In any case, last night we had a moving quasi-tenebrae service, which involved foot washing, communion, diminishing and extinguishing of all of the lights.
quite moving...

and this evening, we will have a reflective meditation service in our chapel, led by our seminary intern.

today, however, I pray to keep God in this holies of Fridays. I will go to class this morning, as usual...and pick up round the house, do errands, stuff easter eggs for the hunt on Sunday, begin working on my sermon and the service for the 26 of April...and...maybe plant some pansies in front of the church--early on Easter or tomorrow.

in all of this...
dear God...
help my heart keep watch with you..
help my thoughts and mind be open to how
I might be moved closer to you..
so I might better be your servant.

amen. amen. amen.

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Monday, April 06, 2009

how can this be?

In Massachusetts,
if you are a gay or lesbian couple that are willing and able to be foster parents,
DSS has a whole set of extra questions beyond what they ask het couples.
ABOUT SEX.
Isn't that discrimination? Promulgation of the myth that even when we GLBT folk are in loving relationships, that somehow our sexual practices are still wrong, taboo, warped, whatever?
Somehow, that doesn't sound legal, does it?

I know this, because I have a friend in a same sex marriage who will be fostering her niece and nephew--DSS is involved because the parent of the child is charged with neglect. and emotional abuse.

Opening Day

Today is opening day here in Red Sox Nation.
Looks like it might rain, so not sure the game will happen. We will see.
Tonight is the final four championship. GO CAROLINA!

Hah! It sounds like I am this HUGE sports fan. I do love baseball...and like basketball, but I don't live and breathe sports. But, that's what is happening in my world today.

It is good that it is Monday. The weekend, as always, was busy. Much of Saturday was sermon writing, and errands. Sunday, was great, but long. Usually, whether I am preaching or not, I get up around 5:30 just to get in Sunday mode. I pray to be present to the morning of seeing people, engaging conversations, following up on details, etc. Usually, it all goes by too fast. I love Sunday mornings and the gathering of the congregation.

There were lots of visitors yesterday--some I was expecting, and some who were totally new. I preached on the Passion of Christ and the anointing woman, entitled "A Beautiful Thing". I wasn't sure how it would all come together, such a hard Sunday to preach--after hearing the whole passion narrative. It was more of a serious service, I think. The music was unbelievably gorgeous. Ahh!

During coffee hour, we celebrated a 95 birthday....I missed most of it, because I was busy talking to visitors. One couple I met, are here on sabbatical from Korea. He is teaching religion at BC, and is a professor at a Jesuit university in Seoul. I asked him (wild stab here) if he knew my dearest friend who is a professor at a another theological school in Seoul. He said, oh, yes~~I know her work! Guess she is doing pretty good over there--she is a prolific writer and theologian. Small world. And very cool. After swishing into to coffee hour, I talked to another congregant who was looking for simple children's prayers she could record so her child could listen to them at night before sleep. I showed her our resource room, and she was in heaven picking out prayer books (I have a pretty good library of children's books in our resource room. It is really nice.)Then there was a meeting to talk about the landscaping plan in front of the church--we are repairing crumbling columns and uneven sidewalk (replaced with brick)...and pulled out some really unruly yew bushes. It will make the front of the church a little more inviting. The whole plan emerged quite quickly, but it will look great, and take care of some much needed repairs.

Then, home...did a little work in the back yard, talked about 40 minutes to someone who needed to vent and be listened to...and got back to church for a youth karaoke party at 3:00. I got home after 7.

So...you see why I am happy it is Monday!

A little down time is good.
I am going to take the next hour and journal and pray...then do some mopping and kitchen cleaning...run out for an appointment....squeeze in some time to finish some little pottery boxes I am making, exercize...and be ready for a meeting at 7:00.

Today,
Dear God,
there is much in my heart...some of it is unbloggable, some of it I just don't have the energy to articulate...
I am grateful for this day...
Grateful for your presence.
I just need to rest in you today.
amen.

Sunday, April 05, 2009

The Donkey


The Donkey

When fishes flew and forests walked

And figs grew upon thorn,

Some moment when the moon was blood

Then surely I was born;

With monstrous head and sickening cry

And ears like errant wings,

The devil's walking parody

On all four-footed things.

The tattered outlaw of the earth,

Of ancient crooked will;

Starve, scourge, deride me:
I am dumb,
I keep my secret still.

Fools! For I also had my hour;

One far fierce hour and sweet:

There was a shout about my ears,

And palms before my feet.


G.K. Chesterton (1874–1936)

Saturday, April 04, 2009

a beautiful thing


you don't have a name...
you were part of a household...
where did the nard come from? you probably had some means...
your tears.
your tears.
your tears.
hmm. do you have tears in this text? no.
no tears.
who are you?

what moved you to do this beautiful thing...

you anointed Jesus as a king would be.

anointed him because you saw who he was...and you heard what he was saying...
and before your story, the priests and scribes were plotting...
and after your story...Judas is making a deal to betray...

and the twelve don't get it.

A beautiful thing, Jesus says, is what you have done.
or...the greek translated more commonly as a good thing, an ethical thing. like almsgiving. I like 'beautiful'

I dont' know.

I know you are speaking to me..
about taking what is precious and beautiful...and using it to touch others...to touch the suffering Christ in others...to....
speak to me, ancient sister.
speak to me..give me wisdom to hear your story, to share your story...to make it all make sense,
somehow.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

a little more on prayer....

I mentioned before that I am in a group of colleagues praying daily during lent, and we check in once weekly.

How has this been transforming?

For me, I have experienced an abundance of love and compassion and joy and connection
with everything and everyone around me..and to Christ within.
It is like I want to embrace it all and say...
Oh, oh, oh!
You are loved!
You are wonderful!
You are...baptized, a child of God, and the Divine knows and cares.

I found myself walking with my youth in Times Square...and we stopped at a light, and I just was so crazy with delight for them, I leaned over and said,
"I know this is nutty, but I have to tell y'all, I just LOVE YOU!"
They grinned.
Then we walked into the M & M palace or world or whatever.

The same tenderness breezes through me as I sit at potluck dinners with four 90 plus year old women as we discuss the movie Chocolat and God....

or when I am walking in the park, marveling at the tenacity of Canadian Geese swimming in the freezing Mystic River.

Just thought I would share that.
No point. Just sharing.

p.s. to those asking about family in ND--all is well and all are holding up. My immediate family lives in the NW part of the state, and reports from other extended family is that everyone is holding their breath, but so far....so good. Thanks for asking!

Thursday, March 26, 2009

already so late this morning for the first gig...

...since I didn't get home last night until after 9:30, and my congregation is on the other side of BeanTown (west) from where I live (north) but I gotta say this--

I JUST LOVE ME THE REVGALBLOGPALS!!!
Even though mostly I surf through posts when I can't take time to write comments all the time..so I am mostly on the periphery....but I gotta say it.
ALL OF YOU ROCK.

The depth of this blog community, the humour, the support, the articulate theology and thoughtful reflections and oceans of juicy diversity...
ahh.
love it.

What a taste of heaven on earth all of you are.

Looking forward to BE2...and...for someday, my first RevGal meetup!

really gotta run now, so I am not too late for meeting far across beantown. (can I shower, make lunch, walk dogs, exercise, eat breakfast in 20 minutes??? uhhhhh)

Monday, March 23, 2009

holy spirit sighting


today I was jogging in the park along the river. (jogging slowly)
I came upon the stone pillar in the middle of the lawn that marks the name of the park, and a huge redtail hawk was perched on it....we were eye to eye, about five feet apart. The hawk calmly watched me as I ran by...and then I stopped and turned around to gaze at its wild beauty until it flew off in majestic glory, soaring over the river, circling back, and landing in a tree, with another gorgeous redtail.

Hawks are fierce, strong, a little scary sometimes, but for me, a symbol of the Holy Spirit...I need that wild fierce presence of God filling me and with me for the living of these days.
Amen.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Prayer



I am in a cohort of people being trained to be a church coach for evangelism and vitality in our Conference. One of our projects together is reading the book, "Unbinding Your Heart" by Martha Grace Reese which is a forty day commitment to daily prayer, and weekly meetings to pray for one another, and talk about how our prayer lives are moving (or not) as well as talk about some of the ideas in the book. The "unbinding" series is part of a larger "real-evangelism series" written for mainline denominations that are wanting to embrace growth as a mission, and learning the practice of invitation rather than relying on the attraction approach of growth. (If we are doing what we do, people will be attracted to us and come). Outreach is a whole other topic, and I digress.

The book is intended for congregations--for forty days, a congregation cancels all meetings, and instead, they work through this book--personally and corporately in small groups that meet weekly. I understand that congregations that have gone through this process are markedly transformed. Understandable. They are praying for one another and the world in a focused, regular way.

Gay Reese's reflections are really wonderful, I have to say. They are accessible for anyone, and yet deep. They remind the reader/prayer of mindfulness in everyday life, and she provides an array of scripture to read and reflect upon. My prayer life has become incredibly consistent by using this tool, and I have to say I am beginning to be much more "all of me here in the moment" than I ever have.

It's a little scary, too. I am learning that I am the kind of person that doesn't easily give up control--she makes the remark that some people are the kind that say "oh, thanks God, for the tip! It all makes sense. So give me back my life now, I can take it from here". OOOhh. I get that. I pray, I receive, and then go on my independent way.

I pray for a heart and life steeped in prayer. But, if this sort of things happen, I better, as Annie Dillard says, get a crash helmet--it is the Creator of the Universe I am being vulnerable to, you know? This is pretty risky.

Can I live this way? I pray I can.
Amen.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Springy Saturday

Ahh. It has been a very busy week. Four nights in a row at work, with multiple meetings/potlucks/visits. In spite of being busy, it all was great. I just LOVE what I get to do.

This morning, though I felt like a brick wall had crashed over me. We got up to go to a WW meeting at 8:00. When I got home around 9:00, I crawled back into bed for just a few more minutes. I literally didn't wake up until 2:00 pm, and then I had to make myself get up. I have been really tired lately--it is true fatigue--and I suppose I need to go and get some bloodwork done. I have had episodes of chronic mono in the past, and although I don't think that this is it, I do think getting it checked would be good. Besides being fatigued, I feel good--my heart is light, I am satisfied and grounded emotionally and spiritually, I am exercising regularly, and I even have lost a little weight. I have energy--in spite of the physical fatigue.

The day today is gorgeous. I am waiting for a delivery, and after that happens, I am going to take Fenway for a walk/run through the greenway. She will like it, and I will love the sunshine on my face and body. It is still a tiny bit cool, but the sun makes all the difference. Last night I was talking to one of our 7th graders, and he commented how daylight savings time makes a world of difference. I have to agree. I LOVE these kids in our confirmation group. Again, who else gets to do work like this for a living? I know that some pastors/congregations have touch times, conflict, personalities, difference of opinions, and that is probably true in pockets where I get to serve...
but that has been true anywhere I have served.
In spite of the level of conflict or difference of opinion or vision,
ministry, being with people, loving people, being on a journey with Christ together, ahh...well, it rocks. I love it.

Today, when we were coming back from WW, we (Beloved and me) made a bet about when Target opens. Don't ever question me about Target--I know my Target, trust me. We bet a pair of shoes, if I win, a new running outfit if Beloved won.

Guess who won (and I didn't initiate the bet, Beloved did. So. Sure. of. Rightness.)
HAH! I won. Then Beloved mentioned that of course because there is an economic crisis, I would of course, being thoughtful and frugal, forgo my booty.
Huh. hmmm. Well, maybe for now. But spring is coming, and sandals must be had. Don't you think? ;-)

Again, another random post. But, well, maybe it is spring fever.

Thank you for the Joy in my heart, oh Joyful Holy One.
Amen.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

scattered thoughts today...

randomly,
I am thinking about these things.
I am at the age now, where it is not uncommon for my peers to be dealing with a terminally ill parent--or a sudden death of one.
It's huge.

I now know personally two people in very good professional jobs who have been laid off. One was done with grace. The other sounds like a complete knock-out out of nowhere. I also have a colleague whose two sisters have been laid off in the past few months. It can happen to any of us, and to any one we know.

My neighbor has a new puppy, baby Bella, the Bernese Mountain Dog. She is hilarious.

This is a good moment, this pause as I feel the keys under my tapping fingers, listening to the drone of the vacuum cleaner that someone is running across the hall in the pre-school room, while a very loud mommy picks up her child and puts her in the bathroom and tells her not to lock it. That would my cue to lock it to see what would happen. Am surprised the child did not take advantage. The mom is really loud, though. Now she is explaining about Girl Scout cookies.

My heart aches, especially for the one friend who was laid off yesterday.

I wonder when the snow will melt after the dump of 12 inches yesterday.

There is a little boy in the preschool who gets in trouble EVERY day. He is having a hard time. I suspect he might have some special needs. Prayers for him...and his parents....

The sun is absolutely brilliant this afternoon. Wonderful.

I need to clean my office. Someone just came by and asked me if I was moving. (four giant boxes arrived today, full of specially imprinted church mugs--plus a box of curriculum, and another box of old pictures somebody dumped in my office. Plus two Trader Joe bags full of stuff, and an overflow of papers on the floor to be filed. Sigh.) I am not moving.

I can't get the Beyonce song, Put a Ring On it, out of my head. uh, uh, oh..uh, uh oh.....

I wish I could dance like Beyonce

Time for me to stop writing. My stream of thought is deteriorating.

Peace to you~~

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

so. it's Lent

we had a lovely service tonight.
with candles. with flash paper. with chants. and remembering our baptisms. and even, a potluck supper.

I do love lent. the drawing in. the emphasis on intention. the invitation to conscious journey.

Tonight I was reminded, by someone who is fairly new to our community how foreign church can be, and yet people are still willing to come because they know they will find something like God In Community there--in spite of being in recovery from abusive or spiritually absent religious community experience in the past.

"uhh, what is a hymn again? I just was saying I had a mystical experience when the choir was singing. wasn't that the hymn?"

Looking at me, said, "I am so new at this. Isn't that the hymn? When the choir sings by itself? " Looking at the music minister, who was trying to figure out what anthem was so touching, said, "don't worry, you aren't responsible for what makes me and God click"

leaves me speechless.

Friday, February 20, 2009

polyphonic afternoon

I close my eyes..
and listen..
to the grey whistle of the wind whipping against everything...
and underneath that is the traffic of trucks and cars racing down the avenue..
but a little above that is the humm and gentle gurgle of the radiator...
while Daisy's snoring keeps the rhythm
and sometimes the faint roar of a jet enters in, on its way to Logan, or just taking off to somewhere,
somewhere,
somewhere...
and then there is the occasional solo line for a sparrow, chirping alone from the tree beyond my window...
and Lucky cat, warm against my side, breathing so softly,
blocking my way
so I can't get up without disturbing his peace...
so instead, I breathe in his peace, and the ordinary symphony of this moment.
amen.

An Altar in the World

is the title of Barbara Brown Taylor's newest book.

It is elegant, beautiful, and wise.

A. Must. Read.



I am going to use some of her thoughts to frame next week's sermon.

Would write more, but I am down for the count with a deep hack of a cough and sore throat. Today is day for reading blogs, not writing.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Friday Five: Memorable Pets

This week's revgalblogpals FF is to name five memorable pets.

I say, oh my! Only five?

I will try....
In no particular order:

This is our Lucky cat, who is old and crotchedy and whines a lot these days, except when he is fast asleep, and he looks like a bunny-angel. Beloved rescued him off the side of a road where a farmer had shot him. Rushed to the vet, Lucky survived, albeit with a bullet still lodged under his skin. You can even feel it to this day.


What can I say? Aren't poodles always memorable in their silly, high energy ways? This is Daisy and Tikky, 11 and 10, respectfully. They still act like 3 year olds.



This is Callie, who has more personality than any human or animal or plant should ever have. She is currently leaping from the chair to my desk...then I pick her up, put her down so I can type, and then she just keeps doing it. Relentless. But loves her bling!


This is Venus las Vegas--she survived major surger this fall, and is doing well. She is truly our angel. Besides having lots of arthritis, she has recently started to lose her hearing. But not her love!


Buster crossed over the Rainbow Bridge this fall. He could not have been more sweeter. He was the calm, even-tempered, laid back presence in our family. We miss him.


This is Cowboy Kojak the One-eyed wonder. We found him in a parking lot, skin and bones and what looked like an eye injury. The vet said he might live a month. He spent two and half years terrorizing our household. I could throw him over my shoulder and do dishes, and he would purr and be so happy. However, he hated all four legged creatures and he would prowl the house to chase poodles, cats, and other dogs. We had to lock him up at night so the other kitties could come out to play. Oh, and did I mention he had chronic diarrhea for those two and half years? However, he learned to mellow slightly, and I just loved him. He loved me, too, in his own way. I know he is raising hell over the rainbow bridge now.



This is sweet Annie. We only had her six months. We adopted her at 13 years, after she retired from being a guide dog. I never knew a creature before that truly embodied the word--Joy. She was the most happy-pants thing in the world. She died from cancer, but she had a rich life.

So...that's it for now....but I have to say our animals enrich our lives in so many ways. We all miss Molly, even if we only knew her through the virtual world of blogging. We are grateful for the ways in which she was God's Blessing to so many, and we celebrate her life. Love to Songbird and family as they walk through this great loss in their lives.

Monday, February 09, 2009

a day off

yay! it's monday....and I am just lounging, drinking coffee, and looking at my List of Things to Do. Just looking, mind you. I have already crossed off cleaning the kitchen. Still have to go out into the yard and pick up another layer of poop that has emerged in the melting snow. Ylech. At least it is sunny out. Must exercise, must hem pants, must get manicure ;-), must read, must walk doggies. Everything else is gravy.

The women's retreat was really, really great. We had around 40 women, and I had organized our time into three sessions, based on three poems by Mary Oliver. St. Mary Oliver, I should say. The first was The Summer Day--you know, the one that ends with "tell me, what will you do with your one wild and precious life"....that phrase became the sharing question in the large group: Tell one thing wild about you, and one thing precious to you or about you. It was fabulous--hilarious, dear, teary, and again, hilarious! I had asked them to each bring a poem or scripture that they treasured, and was going to use this in small groups, but we ran out of time. So, I asked several volunteers to read theirs during our brief worship time before "relaxing" time. It was beautiful.

In the morning, I used Oliver's poem, "Prayer", from her collection Thirst to launch morning devotions around the topic of prayer. For scripture, I had a list of mostly NT verses about prayer, and then I talked about my journey with prayer, with descriptive language for God, The Lord's Prayer, and more. Then, we broke into small groups, and I asked them to share with each other how they engaged in prayer or meditation, when they prayed, if they prayed, etc.
THEY LOVED TALKING ABOUT THIS. Honestly, I thought it was a risky question, because it is so personal, but they appreciated the diversity and integrity of the sharing in their groups.

After a break, we made prayer beads. I gave a little history on prayer beads, and then showed them how to make an Anglican Rosary, or how to adapt it to an Earth Rosary; and also showed them how to make LovingKindness strands, if that is what they wanted. I asked them to choose beads that spoke to them; and to choose a number of beads that was significant. I had purchased a ton of beads--about $100 dollars worth, besides others bringing some to share. I wish you could have seen the sight of 40 women, ranging from 27 years to 94 years old, beading together, on the floor, on chairs, at tables, helping one another, talking, laughing, relaxing, and very intentional about making a meaningful creation. My heart rejoiced. I loved it--every minute.

After lunch, we had a closing communion service. We used the poem "Thirst" to talk about what we thirsted for in our lives and for the world. That became our prayer. After the feast, we blessed the prayer beads, by passing them around the circle, one by one. The creativity was stunning. Truly.

Those 24 hours were full of the glory and grace of the Divine.
I am so grateful to have been a part of it.

Amen.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Day 2.

What bliss. In spite of it being 9 degrees outside, we have had two days of beautiful, joyful sunshine. Love soaking up my vitamin D the natural way!

Today I am finishing up my plans for the weekend retreat, getting things ready for Sunday, ordering curriculum, ordering 4th grade bibles. I had a lovely coffee meeting with a young woman who has been visiting our congregation...I love this part of my ministry--when I can spend time with people, and hear their stories and hopes and thoughts and regrets and....everything.
What can be richer?

What's up with you all?

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

yet to be revealed.


(picture from a national geographic forwarded email thingy with lots of other great pix)
Sometimes, I feel like this monkey, free, happy, in the middle of a treasure.

I was fortunate to be able to have the weekend off last weekend. A trip to NYC made it all the more fantabulously fun, in spite of frigid temperatures. A highlight, among many, was seeing the musical "Billy Elliott." Elton John wrote all of the music. It was so great. I highly recommend.

Today is our weekly snow day, it seems like. Once a week we seem to have a dump that snarls traffic and waylays plans. Poor kids around here are going to be in school until the end of July because there have been so many snow days. (slight exaggeration.)

Am trying to settle in and plan my women's retreat for the weekend. Of course I have a theme and many pieces, but it is putting it all together. PLUS not overpreparing. My church girlfriends like to have plenty of time for talking, talking, talking, and just having fun. It's a balance, for sure! The theme is from that beautiful Mary Oliver poem that asks, "Tell me, what do you plan to do with this one wild and precious life?" I have asked everyone to bring a poem, piece of scripture, or short reading that has been a source of strength for them. We are going to make prayer beads (how fun will that be?) and have time for large and small group sharing around strength, faith, and spirituality.

I am in a good place. In spite of obvious concern about the economy, the strain it puts on people's lives and budgets, as well as the strain on all of our church budgets (I suspect there are many congregations facing shortfalls this year), I have hope. Or, at least, I have no worry. My heart trusts in what will be, and I truly believe Julian of Norwich when she says "all shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of being shall be well." (I might not have this strictly quoted.)

So. We do what we can do, be kind as often as we can to whomever we can--when we remember--, we acknowledge that the people we encounter have lives that have trouble and joy just like our own...and we hope that we can be as gentle to others the ways in which we hope others are gentle to us.
Oh. yes. and we pray.
Amen.